Night|Mare

Night|Mare

I dreamt the exact same dream,

I just forgot about it,

And when I woke up,

I realize it's the same damn dream,

What a nightmare it was. ><"

I don't know how it starts,

I do know how it ends,

First I was walking all by myself,

When I encounter an abandon building,

I was outside of the building,

Then I write something on stick it notes

And put it on the ground,

Then I heard someone coming,

So I ran into the building,

It's just a girl and a guy,

They quickly came to usher me out,

But I didn't manage to do so,

And I have no idea how,

I switch on the outside light,

And they quickly usher me inside,

Of another hall that is of the size of a church.

It was pitch black inside,

I can't see a hint of light,

Then the light is switch on,

As an old lady stand on the stage and deliver her speech,

The others are all in a hood,

I can't see their faces,

They all wore blacks,

I was wearing white,

But I just hang on to the girl beside me.

After that the old lady walked along the path in between,

And look at the followers,

I was so afraid she will notice me, the outsider,

But when she pass through me,

Nothing happen,

Instead she just look at me and look away,

But when it's finally over,

I went out and start running,

That's went a car in red drove pass me,

I realize it's the old lady,

So I tried to run to another direction,

Only to notice she turn her car back and follow me?!!

What the heck,

I just ran and try and hide myself in a corner,

Wishing she wouldn't find me,

Just then, I woke up. ><"...

With my heart beating fast.

It's so freaky, it's the 2nd time I dreamt about it,

I remember that I dreamt something like this sometime ago,

And it's about a deviant religion,

When they chant, no hint of light is allowed,

Not a single hint of light,

That explains the total darkness,

What I write here is nothing compared to the picture in my mind,

I can actually visualize the whole place,

A stage with art works,

The old lady that preach,

It all seems satanic to me.

People seriously should stop getting involved in all those cults and sorts. ><"

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

2nd|Sem

Time flies, and that's cliche.

Anyway, it's really another sem already,

Gosh, I can't believe it,

Even thou I feel bored at home,

Being here makes me emo again,

Been dripping tears since I'm back,

Maybe because I'm not well,

Maybe because I don't feel well.

Anyway, I'm fine, still standing.

Sunday Trip:

I kinda lazy to talk about it, not in the mood to blog now,

Briefly we went to Times Square, Look Out Point, Back to UKM, n then they went to I-City.

Seriously mixed feelings,

I don't wanna come back here,

But it serve no purpose back home,

So yea,

Don't feel like writing for now,

That's all for the updates.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Body|Language

I learn about Non-Verbal Communication last sem,

Which included this topic: Body Language,

And if you've seen "Lie To Me",

Facial Expressions, Hand Gestures are examples of Body Language.

And I've been trying to find out more about it,

Some people are natural at detecting the Truth & Lies based on your body language.

So far I'm only good at detecting a person's emotion from their eyes,

Eyes do not tell lies, but it usually only works with people I care,

Perhaps because I tend to notice them,

And I just somehow got used to interpreting their emotions.

Did some research, and Smiles is another thing,

A genuine smile usually lasts 0.5 and 4 seconds,

Anything longer than 5 seconds is probably a fake smile,

We do a fake smile all the time,

Ask yourself, how many times you actually fake a smile in front of a camera?

I'm sure everybody did at some time.

Yea well, another tell tale sign is that,

A genuine smile actually involves the movement of 17 muscles,

One of it being the eyes,

That's the reason why my eyes always close when I smile with my teeth,

That's real smile, reason why I always don't show my teeth when I smile,

Otherwise you can't see my eyes, haha.

Another thing I notice I do alot is hand gestures,

Whenever I "Don't know what to do",

You'll be sure to see me scratching my head,

Which I think most people do to,

Some people scratch their chin, ears, or whatsoever, you get my point,

When someone is uneasy, they'll move about,

They can't sit in the same position,

They keep switching,

It's really interesting actually,

If you can find out people's emotion based on their expressions,

But be warned that people who are good at differentiating the truth and lies,

Meaning too good,

Won't be good for their life instead,

Life without mystery is dull.

Anyway, that's all today,

You can tell a lot from body language,

Guys ought to learn some,

It'll help with your girl I'm sure,

Since most girls always say a different thing from what's on their mind,

If you can't read it, too bad for you. =P

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Shopping|Spree!

Yoohoo~! S tiba2 ckp dia balik Melaka!

Balik je terus pergi MP~!

J yg drive, not me nia, hehe.

Wahaha, kat rumah terlalu sien,

Pergi jalan2 pun baik, hehe. =)

Went to MP 1st,

Jalan2~

Bought a shorts and a dress,

Hehe, shorts bcoz I've been wanting to buy another 1,

Asyik2 wear the same one, eventhou it's not much difference since it's black oso, keke,

Ok, I have a thing for black, and dark colours, =P

2nd, the dress is casual dress, oohlala~

Dun rly hev a dress that I can casually wear,

So that will do la, hehe,

My other dresses are not so casual, eventhou it's not formal,

But everytime I wear go shopping sure say me apsal wear so nice, swt.><"

Then I x pakai oso say me buy dress put in cupboard..o.O

Hee, 1 shorts down, 1 more to buy,

Not buying long pants,

Beli long pants pun beli Jeans je,

Or maybe if I happen 2 c a skinny jeans to my liking, hehe,

Otherwise sudahlah.

J & S bought the same dress, haha, ask me to buy same one,
But I x pakai that kind of dress, so x beli lor, whee~=P

Oh, oh, then went to DP, round2, xda benda pun, went to Old Town,
None of us was that hungry, just makan sikit 1st lor,
Then there's some local Chinese artists from NTV7, 8TV, at the stage promoting the CNY album,
Got one actor quite handsome de, hehe, saje kecoh sekejap dah cabut~

So yea, 2 more tops to buy~

1 pair of shoes~

1 bag~

Xda lagi kot,

Evrytime CNY tu la benda nak beli. =D

Neway, 4got to put the parking ticket lor,

None of us remember,

So kena saman lor,

So each of us keluar RM10 lor.lalala~

Aiyo, buy a pengajaran lor,

If nobody remind me I thk I oso will 4get. =P

Dah la drive at nite alwiz 4got to on the lights pun. =P

That's y I say I very forgetful, Hee...

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

To|Day

Okay, I'll make things short. Hehe.

Just got my results!!! Wahaha, I am so HAPPY~!!!

Even thou it's not very good la ok?

Just so much much more than I expected,

Kinda expected I might fail a sub,

Nasib pass!!! Fuh!!!!

So okla, hehe...

But this time I nasib baik je.

Next sem kena work harder le!!

I keep on curi tulang, T.T..

Jia you!!

2nd is, I'm sure most of u know about the guy who commit suicide already,

After a 4 months affair, the girl decided to end it,

The guy couldn't take it he choose to end his life.

I wouldn't do that, I never will,

Sure I'll be sad, I'll cry my heart out,

But it's too selfish,

I rather hurt myself, than hurt anyone else,

If I kill myself, that means hurting everyone else.><"

So yea, nobody is worth u taking ur own life for,

But are worth risking ur life for,

There's a difference!!!

One thing for sure, u being heart broken is something,

U breaking everyone's else heart is another thing,

Cherish your life, cherish those who love you. That's all.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Comfort|Zone

Do you know many people exist in this world?

Of the Millions of Billions of Zillions,

Everyday the amount just keep increasing and decreasing,

You can't even total it all up,

But one thing for sure,

It's true when they say you're One in a Million,

No two souls are alike anyway.

Anyway, I've been thinking,

While I'm sitting at home doing nothing,

Well, technically, I just rather stay at home other than hanging out with my friends and going out with my family,

So yea, for now, I'll enjoy my rest while I still have it.

Some people might say it's a waste of time,

I could be earning some extra money to spend instead,

The thing with me is,

I never did like working part time jobs,

Since it's part times,

I always do it just for the sake of doing it,

Pretty sure I make a bad employee,

If it's a full time job,

For sure it'll look bad on my resume,

Anyway, I can't change who I am,

But I do know I can change the way I act,

Just depends on my mood that is, heh.

Excuses, something I'm pretty good at coming up with.

You know how everybody has their own Comfort Zone?

Mine is being at home, where I'm well fed and well slept,

Other than that, it's being with my family, him and my friends,

I totally hate venturing out of my comfort zone,

There are times when I tried to do so,

It made me feel uneasy instead,

I just couldn't find the sense of belonging in certain cliques or groups.

I grew up in between two groups,

My English-speaking family, and my Chinese-speaking friends,

Language too can shape a person differently,

People might say I have the best of both world,

But there are so many times I'm caught in between,

I love reading English novels,

But there are so many times I find myself expressing better in Chinese.

It's a conflict in me that my personality is two-sided,

The English-Speaking Jane which loves watching English Series,

And the Chinese-Speaking Su Zhen which loves watching Chinese Movies,

I wonder, if I'll ever find a balance between the two,

As I stand still and stay within my comfort zone.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Holiday|Blues

You know, back in school we always wait for the holidays to come,

When we don't have to pile up the books and study for the exams,

Even when some of us stayed at home all the time,

It didn't really matter to me then,

But I have to admit,

I did nothing this holiday,

I just pick up a novel that's been at the shelf for a year now to read,

And I have a bunch more waiting for me.

Life is easier when we are kids,

Kids can play with anything or nothing at all,

It's non-stop entertainment for them,

They find joy in the simplest thing,

But as we grow up,

All the simple things are taken for granted by us,

It's not enough mummy and daddy gives us what we want,

We always want more.

Well, kids do too,

Only difference is, it gives them such happiness it makes their parents happy too.

I don't like studying, text books make me feel sleepy,

I guess I get it from my mum,

She always feel sleepy whenever she reads,

But then, I shall use whatever time left to finish my novel,

So long, time for dinner. Chao~

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Little|Pig

Because she's little, I'm suppose to be the mature one,

Little like hell, she's 15 years old! God Damnit!!

Even I when I was 15 I do not throw a 5 years old tantrum!

What she wants she must get it,

It gets on my nerves,

I try to not burst,

It's just testing my patience,

Anything expensive is good to her,

Why is that so?

She believes that一分钱一分货，

Now I seriously hate that Chinese phrase!

So many Chinese phrases get misused in life alone.

Perm hair more expensive than my mum,

Eat Ice-cream must eat Baskin Robins[Which doesn't even have my fav Mint]...not really a fan of baskin robins, one time n blah, okok sahaja. Prefer to buy Walls anytime. ><"

Kasut entah berapa pasang, semua RM50++

Aku punya kasut semua Sales baru beli...her 2 pairs can buy my 3-4 pairs. Swt.

Ho mia eh ho mia.

I have no idea this is the number what post I'm writing about her,

Perhaps when I get older and lazy to quarrel with her I will stop feeling upset,

No tears today thou,

Just guh!

Everytime we have to give in to her,

Put up with whatever nonsense she gives us.

You wanna say it's because we pamper her whatsoever blah la,

Family is like that isn't it?

No matter what, no matter how much it upsets us,

We just can't stay mad for long,

And the tears we cry,

She don't even give a damn,

All she cares is what she wants and how she must get it,

When my mum cooks, she doesn't want to eat,

When we dapao noodles and sorts,

She insists she wants rice,

When we say her,

She says the rice at home not nice,

WTH?

Dah lah tu, someday when she lives alone outside,

She'll know how nice home cook meals are,

She rather starve herself than eat what my mum cooks,

She can go whole day without eating them,

Rather eat those cookies, or cook mee or whatsoever,

Is she normal or what?

You tell me?

I really don't know.

She has temper,

We all have too,

But all the times we are the one that has to be patience with her and put up with her temper.

What the heck is so ignorant about being 15? She's not a stupid damn 5 years old for God sake!

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Matter|of|Size

While watching Drop Dead Diva today,

I thought of something,

You know the show is really something like Ugly Betty at its initial stage,

With all the life philosophies you can learn and something to think about.

Here's the thought of the day: Does size really do matter?

You know, you see thin people with thin people, the slim with the slim, and the fat mostly ends up with the fat.

The fat ones usually are the ones that are frowned upon,

Watching a real life show the other day,

A fat guy talks about his weight, and you know what?

To most people, it's always like, they should control what they eat,

They are fat because of what they eat.

It's not usually the case thou,

Most of the times, it's in their genes,

As for me, I'll say it's in my genes that I'm thin,

Seeing that my dad is still thin, and my mum used to be slim too,

I might as well grow fat some day, you never know?

So I really don't wanna laugh at fat people or anything, seriously.

The thing is, it's so difficult to change the society's perception,

And as the years drag on, their thoughts go into their children mind,

Which creates even more prejudices towards the more than average size,

You know when a thin person is with a fat person,

And people are like, what the heck are those two doing together?

That the thin deserves better, and things like that,

And I for one knows an average girl actually got together with a fat guy because he's rich,

So like what the heck?

We should always be with people we feel comfortable being together,

Otherwise it'll fall apart eventually if we couldn't accept ourselves,

Or they couldn't accept us, I guess that's the real issue here,

Even though I will love to think that size, height all those doesn't matter in love,

It does, I can't deny it, because we all have our own definition of beauty,

Fat is beauty too,

I guess we just can't force that thinking into everyone's mind,

Next time you have a child,

Try to change it and tell them that beauty is undefined,

Because it is.

Hereby say, don't think lesser of a fat person unless you get to know them,

I happen to know a few really great people,

That the thin people have no right to think lesser of them,

They're beautiful to me. =)

- -

By Sicreci

小女孩|的我

有人说我像个小孩子，

说我其实一点都不成熟，

我只是喜欢理智的思考每件事，

而有时候就是太过于的理智而没办法放松，

我知道，有很多事，

是强逼不来的，

也不能勉强。

我的头脑总是跟我的心作对，

从别人的过去吸取教训，

也不知道是好是坏，

因为人生因人而异，

有时候明明没事的，

反而因为他人的关系，

他人的影响，

而搞到自己胡思乱想，

谁能保证未来的一切？

没有一样东西是一定的，

生命也一样，

没必要因为别人而影响自己，

还是做好自己吧，

幸福就好。

- -

By Sicreci

Life|Updates

What I've been doing from the time I came home till now.

1st few days I was like out, and out, and out,

Mostly with my family and cousins,

Then I stayed at home and watch TV, eat, slp, PPS.

Haven't got the urge to read any novels yet,

I just realize I have a bunch of immortals n vampires lying around,

Currently not in the mood for those,

I need some thrillers. It thrills me. =p

As for them, I'll have to get myself to open the 1st chapter before I would even continue reading them,

Just in the mood for more shows now. Hehe.

What shows have I been watching? On PPS that is. Here goes the list according to my preference.

1. Kaichou wa Maid Sama @ 会长是女仆大人

That's just what I like about it, it's so funny, there's laughter in every episodes. xD

And Usui, the guy is just kakoi, well, he look funny here, hehe.

Besides, Misaki is not your average "need help" girl, she helps other wherever she can.

2. The Wallflower @ 完美小姐进化论[Live action drama]

My favourite anime of all time, one that you can't stop laughing, it's just so humorous, and now it's been adapted into drama version!! Thought it'll suck at first, even thou the plot are different and additional sets of character are inserted. It's still funny and fun to watch! But watch the anime first thou. ^^

3. Drop Dead Diva @ 美女上错身

Look at the poster and what do you see? A girl about size 2 goes to heaven and press the return button only to have her soul got into a size 12 body. The typical body switch drama? So not.

Because the fat girl here, named Jane, has gone to heaven, and the thin girl, who's name's Deb, got into her body and she has to live with it for the rest of her life. For Deb, she's a low IQ high EQ model, for Jane, it's vise versa, and she's a lawyer, so having her soul in Jane's body, actually gave her Jane's mind, and now she has both High IQ and EQ. And this drama actually tells you that fat people too can be beautiful. =)..unlike the idiotic ugly betty that got so annoying by the end of the last season, damn, they has to spoil the show.><"

4. Lost Girl @ 妖女迷行

I actually like this as much as Triple D[Drop Dead Diva]..

Meet Bo, the lustrous Succubus that will suck your Chi out of you. It's a drama of all the folklore creatures in modern day, being unnoticed by human as they blend in. There's goblin, elf, vampires, werewolves, fairies and it even has a creature like U-Know-Who in it, haha. It's not Merlin or anything, but it's worth the watch.

5. Covert Affairs

Does the guy look familiar? Well, he's Henry Grubstick in Ugly Betty. And that's Piper Perabo beside him. He's a blind CIA agent in this series thou, which makes him all the more interesting character. Just watched 2 epis, so I'm gonna continue watching it now. Hee.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

6 love

Gender|Differences

Let's face it. No way will there ever be gender equality.

N why is that so? Because man and woman are two different species,

Guys have their traits that woman don't,

And vise versa,

I thought of something last night,

That everyone of us has something we can do that others couldn't,

A photographer could take a picture but can they write a poem?

A poet can write a picture but can they take a beautiful picture?

It's the same damn thing.

Just like how guys are meant to do somethings,

And girls are meant to play a role in some others.

N well, self-reflect and I realize how unreasonable I am at times,

Well, consider this another fact,

That most girls, always get unreasonable at some point, lol.

What do I mean by that?

Hmm, so many times a girl could do the things she do,

But reverse the situation for a guy,

The guy shouldn't do such things they do,

Guh, I just couldn't help myself.><"

I don't think I even need to give an example for this,

Too many examples if I wanna state it,

As I keep reminding myself again and again,

Stop being such a "girl"...duh...

That's all, just had to write it out.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Short|Hair

Damn, I kinda miss my short hair.

Haha, but I wouldn't cut it again thou, not now.=P

Neway, always wanted to get a pixie cut, but I don't think it suits me anyway.

Hence, I can only admire this pretty people's hair...hehe...

Pretty sure most people don't know this last girl, her nick's Zai Zai Lin. Loving her~! She's so kakoi~Hehe...xD

- -

By Sicreci

4 love

|Coincidence|

Life is full of coincidence, won't you agree?

Somehow I think the law of attraction played a part in this,

I don't know how, I don't know why,

It just happens so.

There are just so many times when we least expect to see someone that we bump into them,

And the times when wow, I know your dad, damn, my mum knows your mum,

And huh, been to my place but I didn't know you then etc.

People who don't know each other might have met countless times without realizing,

When we do know each other it's simply coincidence that we do met.

Well, I don't know about elsewhere, it's probably because Melaka is such a small place,

I grew up frequently bumping into that someone yet never bumping into someone else,

It's like I have friends from primary till secondary,

But you never bump into all of them,

Most of the times, I bump into close friends of mine,

It's always the same person you know?

Gosh, I saw him there yesterday, damn, I saw him here today,

That kinda thing?

It's funny and strange, but I have this idea that two people weren't friends by chance,

It's like you have this "connection" to them,

As I'll like to put it as some sort of thread that ties to people,

Except this applies to the friends,

As for couples, the Japanese say it's the Red Thread.

And well, there's this theory,

That when you thought of seeing that someone,

He would actually appear before you,

This is just something I've accumulated over the years,

Heh, it happens to me on various occasion,

And vise versa, how so?

Well, there's this guy that had a crush on me,

He always seem to be at the place I goes to,

Except, here's the thing,

I never saw him, out of 10 times,

Perhaps there's 1 time I actually realize him,

And other times, he saw me,

How do I know?

Because he told me so.

You see, I guess it works the other way too you know?

That when you don't wanna see that someone,

They won't even appear before you.

And there's another thing,

When you cut off all ties with someone,

You might actually never get the chance to ever meeting them again,

The thread has been cut, and then it's done,

Fate has its way, and it simply keeps both of you apart,

Even if two of you might work at the same place,

Or even stays nearby,

Seriously, I mean?

What are the chances of actually bumping into someone,

Honestly, what are the chances of not bumping into someone?

I think it's really not much, as I would like to put it,

I'll simply say it's coincidence.

Except some part of my heart honestly believe that fate has something to do with it. =P

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

不公平|的世界

这世界是不公平，是大家都该接受的事实。

如果说今生的我们是脱了上辈子的福，而今生所做的好事会让我们下辈子更好过，这个我相信。

可是这世界依然不公平。

如果因果现象能解释这世间所发生的一切那这个世界就算公平了。可是却没办法。

我相信不仅仅是那个因数。

有些人天生惹人爱，惹人疼，

有些人天生没貌却有才，

有些人天生有样却无脑，

有些人的人缘好却无情人，

那又是为什么呢？

这世界没有完美的人，

接近完美的是他们前世修来的福，

美丽的定义也看你本人，

幸福快乐也看你的心态，

太多的一切却不懂得珍惜，

失去了一切才懂得享受，

不管什么，不管怎样，

都有好有坏，

平衡到来，

也是一样的结果。

结论就是，在不公平的世界里做最好的自己。

-珊-

- -

By Sicreci

Hair|Cut

So long didn't cut my hair le, not gonna cut short anytime soon anyway,
Wanna keep long long then cut straight straight~
Hehe, neway, look like a little girl again, lol..
Sometimes I wonder how old do I act like,
My mentality doesn't seem to fit my character, swt.
I think I act like a little girl most of the times. =P

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Back|Home

Syok yer~~~~~~~~~!!!!

Lalala~!!!!

Hehe, so happy, kaka..xD

Belum balik dah ada org panggil go yamcha..

Masa on the way,

Fren call me thought I'm in melaka liao,

Duno y she call me, later ask her, hehe,

Then juz now another wanted 2 ask me yamcha,

But went out wif my family,

So didn't go out with them lor~

Tomorrow night go yamcha with Sha po~!

Sunday nite oso goin out ba, hehe...

Weekdays can take n watch my shows lor, hehe...

Esok kalo free nak pi potong rambut la..

So long ad, guh, so messy..><"

Oh yea, wot I did today...

8.40am....woke up, pack some stuff.

9.05am...go n take my bath.

9.30am...continue packing my stuff.

10.07am...Jie jie cum pik me, she go c her lecturer 1st, ask me wait in d car 4 her.

10.50am...Baru abis jumpa her lecturer...><", then bak college get my stuff.

11.35am...Kat Bukit Jalil nearby apartment. Need fetch her bf Erico go KLIA.

11.55am...Baru get bak 2 the car, lol...

12.48pm...Reach KLIA. Erico went n chek in dis dat...

1.22pm...Went at eat lunch at the food court. Mahal giler..ada staff discount still mahal.. A 20% discounted Bandung cost RM3.60. WTH?
2.05pm...dah makan abis, time to cabut...

3.50pm...reach Melaka!! Home sweet home..^^

4.00pm..unpack my stuff n evrythg. Start clearing... that stupid pig, talk to her refuse 2 answer me, evrytime mood x baik org tanya apa2 xmau jawab, geram betul...Her own stuff wait for her to clear the sky oso will fall down...seriously, kek sim u tau apa? U try talk 2 her c u kek sim not kek sim?

That's y it's not that we don't want to advice her or anythg, she makes us so kek sim n pek cek u get it? It juz makes me upset more than anythg. ><"

6.00pm...rearrange her stuff took me 2 hours?!! WTH...wasn't even my stuff.. imagine that, then ppl say her x suka, she simply reply dun clear la, din ask me 2 clear pun, wth, it's my room oso, dia bleh tahan, i xleh tahan, cekik darah ckp sama dia tau?

6.15pm... hungry, eat some mum cooked mee, and a red bean pao~nice..hehe...

7.50pm...mum say go eat Pizza, mane tau masuk kreta, si budak ckp xmau, nak Bei Zhan. But 2day friday, for sure byk org, so evrybody say dunwan, then say go AMIGO je. Ok..set...hehe...

Makan Chicken Cordon Bleu n Peppermint Shake!! I like d peppermint shake~!! Wan eat mint ice-cream`!!! Go n buy..hehe...=P

10.05pm...sampai rumah lor..hehe...=D...then fb...hehe, now blog, later PPS? =P

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

The|Sister

The Elder Sister: Tigress

The Sister: Me

The Little Sister: Pig

Today, I'm gonna talk about my two sisters. My elder sister is older than me by 4 years. The little pig is younger than me by 5 years. Hence the age gap among each of us. My elder sister treats us like little girls. My younger sister acts as though she's an adult. It's so complicated. I don't usually go a day without quarreling with the little one, but ever since I entered uni, the friction just decrease significantly, sometimes you just had to get away and grow up.

Anyhow, I'll talk about the tigress first, to us she's really like a big sister figure, that you can't really treat her like your friend, perhaps it's due to the age gap, and perhaps because she's english-ed instead of me and the pig which is chinese-ed. My parents are english-ed as well, only me and my sis can write chinese. Mum & sis can speak but couldn't write. Dad can't speak neither can he write.

When I thought of my little sis, I thought of how my elder sis thought about me & my friends. She seems to have a biased thought on the typical Chinese people. The reason she asked me to join Aiesec in the 1st place is that I mix around with English-speaking people. She seems to have this idea in her head that Chinese-speaking people have some sort of pattern and not willing to advance themselves and refuse to speak English, and some sort of prejudice judgment she has towards Chinese-ed people, always picking on their mentality. ><", forgetting that I myself is Chinese-ed. I'm not that good in my English. It's only that I've been exposed and brought up in an English-speaking family since I'm young. If you notice, I speak broken English, I even write grammatically error English which I'm constantly trying to improve.

But here's the case with my little sis, I see my friends in her, even though my girl friends when they are young most of them didn't know how to think and dressing up like "Ah Lians", how things has changed ever since. The very same people has turn out to be rather stylish these days. But the thing is this, I didn't get influence by them, because I wasn't like anybody else, I realized that a long time ago, and I'm fine being the way I am, my little sis on the other hand, has all these crazy ideas in her mind, that my family & I just couldn't get her to understand. At the age of a teenager, she's by far worst than my sis and me when we were at our teenage phase, I'm stating it rather seriously, and it's not only her actually, even my cousins about her age.

Teenagers and kids her generation and to come is getting worse, I have no idea what reason is it. I'm not talking about their studies or anything, I'm picking on their mentality. They can't wait to grow up, they're depressed, their addicted to the stupid box call the computer, spending approx half a day in front of it, 12 hours that is, they cannot be told, they must get what they want, I just keep an eye close, I have no idea what do I do when I know the things I know, if I could, I would have send them to a teenager psychologist. Or is it just a phase? How do we close a blind eye when we see someone in our family being unreasonable and radical?

Even to the extreme of cutting herself?! Don't worry, I'm not talking about my sis, rather someone else, sigh, what do we do with these teenagers? Anyway, that's all for now, gotta run! Chao. Catch u later.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Pagi|Malam

Semalam: Pasar Pagi

Semalam pun beli byk benda, nasi lemak, mee siam, ang ku kuih, dis kuih dat kuih, kek bahulu, dah lupa wot else, lol.

Hari Ini: Pasar Malam

1. Nasi Lemak

2. Keropok Lekor

3. Murtabak

4. Roti John

5. Tau Fu Fah

6. Raddish Cake+Pumpkin Cake

7. Yi Jia Kui

That's all ba, itu pun dia buat bising say I buy so many, hehe, say I kat situ x cukup makan come bak makan puas2, lol, not I eat all pun ler, share wif my lil sis ler..><"

I wher can eat so much, makan sikit dah kenyang, nanti sambung makan. Hehe..xD

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

失|眠

我最近不懂做什么，

一时一时眼泪又往下掉了，

又没有什么伤心事，

也没什么烦人的事，

我不知道自己在发什么神经，

觉得很不舒服，

是那样才导致眼泪，

还是精神上失调导致我现在的状况。

想读书，却有心无力，

看了一小时都不懂在看什么？

五十分我开始担心连一半都拿不到，

明天继续加油，

要睡却睡不着，

还想早点起来温习，

都不懂几点才睡得着。

- -

By Sicreci

Baka|Jane

Really wanna scold myself,

So lazy sampai malas cari jawapan,

Soalan keluar xtau jawapan,

Ish,

50 Marks duno got 35% ma..

I kira2 atleast 30% ba..

I wan 40%...

T.T..

Ish, geram betul,

2 late 2 regret pun.

I yg malas..sigh..

Hmm, I estimate can get atleast 3.0 ba dis sem...

If not I rly can go jump sea liao..wu wu..sob sob..

I wan 3.33....no nid 3.67 la, I dun hev that high expectation pun...

Assigment n quiz pun sudah jia lat..

Aikz,

Hopefully can get 3.33 lor...sigh~

Ling Lang!!!

Muz study!!!

Ish ish,

Dun play2, dah la flung ur quiz,

Better get atleast B for that!!!

Cool down, cool down,

Clear ur head 4 2moro,

Try 2 get an A for that!!!

BISS!!!!><"

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

A|Sign?

Studying TITAS. But thought I come n blog awhile.

Had a dream in the morning,

Freaked me out,

Was like I kinda busted out sum1 who's fake accidentally,

And all hell break loose was like,

I'm actually stabbing sum1's bak that isn't consider stabbing,

Since it's pretty much the truth? Lol.

Sum1 who's fake yet I can't reveal,

So I actually reveal it in my dreams. ><"

N dat strikes me,

I shud rly kip my mouth shut tight,

Dunwan 2 hev a slip of words,

And find myself in a hot soup again. Duh.

That's all, wanna continue TITAS.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

|Tips|

Lalala, finish PSS. But duno can get 40 marks or not ma...><"

Oso duno she will giv me marks 4 my assignment ma...T.T..

Cham, hopefully won't so jialat lor...Sigh~

Anyway, semua baca tips je, nasib yg baca ada keluar,

Kalo x abis kita semua,

Sama2 die. Lol.

Anyway, I thought d rest had tips as well so I din bother as much 2 forward2 sini sane,

I juz happen 2 ask whoever I bump into if they nid it,

If they do I juz tell them la,

I'm like dis de ar,

Like say I wan sth,

I'll go find out myself,

I dun juz wait around 4 sum1 2 juz giv it 2 me,

No one's gonna do that,

Like my parents said,

Nothing in this world comes free,

Surely sth like this is,

But how many can I tell?

I simply expect sum1 I told 2 tell the rest.

N ha, perhaps next time I shud be so generous enough n juz forward my whole mail box. Lol.

Lol, anyway, it's my wrong, so sorry,

I shud hev forwarded 2 all, I din thought of it.><"

It's so damn ironic,

I kip making myself guilty for sth that I did nth wrong of,><"

Damn, shud do more kindness n I shall be alrite,

Spare me sum mercy n take pity on my fragile soul...

Anyway, wanna study TITAS la!

Lalala~Aja2!!!

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

|IBS|

Grr, old fren has decided 2 pay me a visit,

Been wondering y has I been alternating between diarrhea & constipation.><"

N get so uncomfortable whenever I had my meal.

Think I'm hevin IBS again.

The syndrome the specialist diagnose me with.

Even thou I was skeptical at 1st,

But the symptoms r there,

Very hard 2 not admit it.><"

The causes r not known,

Hence there's not much treatment to do with,

It's not a disease, just a functional problem,

That my abdomen just ain't functioning properly,

Hence the indigestion n etc.

Shud do more breathing exercises,

I'm just lazy,

N I seriously shud stick 2 1 meat per day routine,

Eating meat juz worsens it, @.@

Instead of 3 meals I shud be getting 5 meals instead.

Cutting down my portion of food. Eeek.

Hopefully it'll get better and get me bak spirited. ><"

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

C|A

Pray that my mind don't go blank later on...><"

Wish me luck~!

3 hours 2 go~!

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Fire|Rain

I don't know if it's the first time I feel like this,
But I feel like shit right now,
Really really crap.

Pretty upset and frust at the same time,
I thought I could hold it in,
I thought I'll be alright,
But meletup jugak,
I can't constrain my feelings,
I'm still not good with that.

I get messed up with the littlest things.
I already start off with a really bad feeling in the wee hours of the morning,
5.30am and I'm awake, to add on a presentation that I so damn damn not satisfy with,
And to add on I got back my creative essay that I work so damn hard on,
Yet got such low marks that I just wanna knock myself against the wall,
I seem to always do things the wrong way,
That my efforts become nothing just like that.
Snap a finger and wahla, it all turns to dust.

I'm being extremely emo right now,
I have flames in my head,
While it's raining in my face.
I just don't want to do anything else for the moment.
Excuse me, I shall get back some slp.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Creative|Project

tOkki is so Happy~!!!!!

So HAPPY it's over!!!

Nth makes me Happier than getting it OVER with!!!

Wah lala~lalala~

Made a new discovery today thou,

Actually changed my perception towards sum1 n sth,

Dat I shudn't be 2 skeptical.

N I realize they are rly gud ppl,

My lecturers,

We juz hev 2 c them as human instead of u noe wot? Lol.

Blood suckers? Haha, jk.

Anyway, our short film is about Dracula n Ponti @ Pontianak.=P

Had sum slight errors, n technical problems,

We're so scared n freaked out,

After all it's our final presentation,

Which carries 40% marks...grr...

Thk d lec weren't 2 hepy,

But I thk evrythg is cool~

So yea, I'm cool now~

Fortunately I got 2 frenz 2 cum,

Otherwise 10 marks sure gone.

I noe wot I said bfor,

But yea well,

I do noe that I nid d 10 marks,

2 score 4 dis sub,

For I thk I'll do worse in the rest...><"

So yea, nasib baik...fuh~

Neway, another report 2 kejar. Aikz..

Apahal semua benda kena I yg buat..><"

Dah dah, enuf complaining, cepat siapkan.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

No|Fun

I wonder if I'm getting old,

I wonder if we're getting old,

It seems to me the 1st year is more stress than having fun,

Unlike the enthusiasm that is apparent in the faces of the seniors.

Dancing to me is no fun,

For I personally ain't no fan of dancing.

So for the musical, I'm impressed with what they're doing,

But I won't hev fun if it's me doing so.

There are thgs that some ppl juz dun get it,

Nt evryone likes doin the same thg as evryone else.

I'm alwiz the odd one out.

I dislike doin those stuff.

N I gotta find 2 frenz as my guest 2moro.

It's 10 marks.

I hev no idea who 2 find,

Like I said, if my fren ask me instead,

I doubt I wud hev cum myself.

Dah la trouble us, skrg kena trouble org lain.

I mmg x suka.

Kalo xda blah je,

The 10 marks can go to hell.

Kalo bawa pun x semestinya 10 marks.

Grrr...benci giler aku pasal benda mcm ni.

I dun mind ppl m'yusahkan aku.

I very mind I go n m'yusahkan org lain for thgs that I wudn't do so myself!
><"

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

4 love

Off|Day

Today tOkki took her own day off.

She skip 2 of her classes,

One that is non-importante, 1 that is quite importante~

But then, she needed the break.

It's been stressing her out.

She even cried herself to sleep last nite,

tOkki loses it evry once in awhile,

She can only control up to sum point before she burst~

But then tOkki will alwiz get bak 2 her feet,

It's oni a matter of time, n another matter of time bfor she decided 2 fall bak down.

Woke up early in the morning, 7am, slept for 5 hours oni.

Had my bath n milo n sum biscuits,

Took the 9am bus to KTM wif sot,

Sat the 9.30am KTM to KL Station,

Reach there about 10.15am,

We were early, bcoz sum1 was late,

So had our breakfast there,

Ate Mee Sup Utara. Quite nice. =)

Then hmm, suppose they will be late,

Since we're near Pasar Seni, which is Central Market,

Decided to go there,

Quite a nice place for tourists,

Or ppl looking for souvenirs,

The price aren't that expensive pun,

About the same as wot u can find in Melaka,

N I saw a bunch of cheongsams less than RM100!!!

Next year CNY mau beli la!

I nak hitam punyer...=P

N huh, about 11am++ baru they came,

So went to Segi 1st, budak pi buat benda,

Then they went n makan Pan Mee,

Me n Sot full le, so din makan,

Then around 12pm++ went to 1U.

Lepak at 1U from about 1pm-2pm++?

Sekejap je, 1st time been there,

Tapi mcm The Gardens+Mid Valley je.

Xda pa pun, bought Sticky thou~!

So cute de sweets. Hehe.

After that went to Pavillion,

X buat ape, had lunch at Old Town,

Haha, u tau la, ther all mahal2 giler,

Thg is, I'm cutting off fast food pun,

Cant take fast food le, later will lagi cham,

So ate noodles again. =P

Still got so much time, suggest go watch movie lor,

But no movie to watch pulak~

Jalan-jalan, eh, late ad,

Go Times Square find digi center,

Been hopping around to find digi center,

Haha, 2 bad semua place xda.

Ada pun x buka.

Then fetch the leng lui bak,

Take my thgs from her,

Bak to KTM lor,

Thg is, when I was walking bak to the KTM,

Then realize I lose my ticket, swt.

Hev 2 buy another ticket bak UKM.

Add on another RM3.50 je la.

Waited for half hour for the train,

So slow man~

Then reach UKM about 7pm,

That's all lor. =)

2moro, will be a better day~!

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Frust|Giler

Everyone knows I hate vulgar words. I don't use them.

Especially the F words. But ever since I came here.

I snap once in awhile and I just couldn't stand it.

Still, I never did uttered the word orally,

Only in my mind it kept repeating, over and over again,

I feel so intensely frustrated to the state that I just get all upset.

I'm not good at handling pressure,

My dad says I'm low spirited,

At some point I am,

The only thing is I will always get up when I fall down,

It's only that it always hurt so much falling down,

It's making me painful along the way,

Crap. I seriously, honestly, wanna scold it out rite now?!

I wish I can just shout and scream it all out.

3 years from now, I'll probably be scolding the F word off ppl's face.

I can actually see that honestly, when I can't take it,

And just snap. Holy Shit.

I need to calm down, and gives myself a break.

Except I dun hev time for a break.

I'm turning into Enaj again.

Somebody save my soul.

- -

By Sicreci

Fri|Sat

Friday Movie, Saturday Field Trip~

Friday: Mid Valley

Movie: Eat, Pray, Love.

Damn, damn, damn, nice movie to watch and sit back and just enjoy. Was skeptical at 1st, even thou I'm a big fan of Julia Roberts. The trailer just wasn't interesting enough to capture my attention. The reason I went to watch it because my sis and cousin said it's nice. And true to her words, it really is. It's like you're absorbed into the movie, into her mind, that you don't even realize the time while watching it, it felt like forever in a good way, even thou it's just a moment.

It makes me think about where am I now, and what I'm doing with my life? Am I on the right track? Is this really what I want? Yet sometimes, you end up with no answers. So be it. You don't have to find the answers for everything. You just need to find the balance in life. Not too much of something, not too little of anything.

I am trying to balance myself in between everything. It seems I'm standing with one leg up, which, u wudn't fall if you close your eyes and stand still. But when you open it, it's like when you see with your eyes. You get all these different images in your mind, and walah, you lose focus and fall. So the theory is that we have to clear our mind and see things like how we see our reflection. Clear like the water, calm like the wave~

So yea, that's about the movie.

Went there after class, about 12.30pm.

Reach there by 2pm, beli ticket jalan2 kejap.

4.30pm movie.

Finish by 7pm, then pi makan kejap.

Took the KTM at 10pm.

Reach UKM by 11pm.

So tired, slpt at 1 sth.

Saturday: KLCC

Field Trip: OCS

So lazy 2 wake up in the morning, and drag myself to KLCC.

Aboard the bus at 8.40pm. Took the 9.30am KTM.

Reach KLCC at 10.30am.

Had a bun for my breakfast.

11am start searching for subjects.

Gosh, it's so hard for me to approach strangers.><"

Grr, really testing my courage.

But alas, dapat jugak buka mulut gua yg berat. Lol.

N hmm, like that la, no comment. Hehe.

You meet ppl who's really nice, n u meet ppl who malas nak layan engkau.

The society is like that,

You can't really stereotype everyone into the same category,

As it's really unfair to do so,

Our question is Do Malaysians "Smile"?

If it's me. No. I don't smile often. I admit.

N u get different kind of answers, and ppl giving us smile.

The one I'm most impressed with is the mother and son from South Africa.

Don't look like one thou, hehe. =P

Ok well, nth much I hev 2 say, bcoz ahem, kesedaran diri.

Xyah ckp byk. =)

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Sakit|Hati

What

The

F...

- -

By Sicreci

Sharing|Complaints

Ckp je sharing. Sharing is to do wot?
Complain, complain, complain.
Seriously, ever since I came 2 UKM,
I actually learn 2 appreciate what I have,
Instead of complaining all the time.
Like that is gonna change anything.

I mean, come on?
I used to complain about my mum's cooking,
And she'll simply reply me you want you cook urself.
After you're away from home, you'll realize mum's cooking is the best. ^^
Sometimes you need to be taken away sth 2 appreciate it.
I don't fancy taking UKM food because it's oily n salty n spicy. Yikes.
So not healthy.

As for our dinner, most of us order rice.
And it's so much cheaper than eating at canteen,
Given the proportion and selection of dishes.

Still, you hear complains.
Expensive la,
X cukup meat la,
Not nice la,
Dis n that la.
Walao eh.
I eat ok ar?
Then oni I realize there r ppl choosier n fussier than me.
Come on la wei.
知足常乐。

Kinda complained less these days,
Even if I do, it's oni 2 release my stress, lol.
So yea. That's all I wanna say.
Stop complaining baseless stuff, we all had it the same. Duh.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Week|End

There goes my weekends.

Spent my time at mini PPC,

Went to watch 2 movies,

Wall Street & Detective Dee.

Still got movies I wanna watch~!!!

But, aikz, bo lui liao.

Regarding Wall Street,

Hmm, the trailer seems ok, not the movie I usually go for,

But hmm, after watching it, still think really not a movie I rly fancy watching,

But I guess ppl who likes that kind of movie will like it.

And I thk The Adjustment Bureau trailer is interesting,

But the name is so so. Haha.

So yea, it's ok la for those who prefer this kinda movie,

I simply prefer watching romantic comedies,

Which guys usually wouldn't pik 2 watch. Heh.

Detective Dee,

This one hor, hehe, bcoz they wanted 2 watch Wall Street,

But din inform me bforhand, I ad watch jor,

So hev no choice but 2 watch other movies,

The 2 girls wanted 2 watch ghost movie,

But haha, no fan of it either.

The film is seriously low budget even with the big names like Carina Lau, Andy Lau, Li BingBing and Leung Ka Fai.

The scenery is mostly CGI, it looks like ur watching a human in a video game,

Well, HK or China CGI biasalah.

Anyway, the story is cliche in a not so cliche way.

The storyline is nt rly that ez 2 guess but when u found out, ur like,

Oh, y didn't I thought of that that kinda thg?

So yea, the storyline is the only thing that's worth watching,

I simply luv Andy Lau n Li Bing Bing's scene. =P

So hmm, enuf wif the movies. wot did I spent on ar?

Let's do the math.

Zzz...

Movies: 14+12

Dinner: 4+12

Lunch: 4+8

Titbits: 26

RM80

I thk I've decreased up to half the amount I spent on the 1st month liao.

That's a progress, but I wanna stock up on fruits n stuff 2 munch on.><"

Kip like this wud be RM100 per week which makes it wot?

Approx RM500 one month ba.

I juz remember I hev a book 2 pay sumore. Swt.

Wan go bak Melaka this week if can.

Otherwise no chance until my finals le!!!

Which will be stucked here for one month.

So long pals, starting tomorrow I'm gonna retreat from blogging until the weekends,

I do hev 2 settle my assignment blog thou.><"

1st time I hate 2 blog. ><"..crap.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Kajai|PT

It felt like a long time since I blog here.

But haha, only been 2 days, lol.

Neway, long story short, let's review 28th of September.

So yea, had our PT at Kajai~!

My task for that day is simply 2 catwalk.

Kanjiong giler.

Heart was beating wif d music.

Oh gosh.

After it's done, we're like wow,

how long was that?

Not more than 5 mins?

We practiced for more than 5 hours. Lol.

Haha, So yea, glad we got it over wif anyway.

It's amazing, juz the few minutes.

But our adrenaline was rushing like hell.

That was wot happened when I was presenting my speech at OCS juz now.

Oh gosh, I kan jiong giler.

Din even practice or wot.

So when she told me "Your good" by the end of the class.

I'm like. Huh? Okay.

I wonder.

Do ppl dun realize I'm nervous when I'm nervous? Hmm.

Neway, bak 2 the PT.

I realize sth.

It's so FUN~!! Haha.

Surely, the work is no fun.

Which I don't know much about.

But rehearsing with the rest of them,

We got closer and simply had so much fun. ^^

So yea, the pix r all at FB, can look at it there,

I guess that's all for now.

I'm still slpy~

Here's 1 pic I din upload 2 FB. Hehe.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Head|Ache

Had a bad day.

Izit rly that bad? I hev no idea.

I only know my mood has been up and down today.

It irritates me and it's annoying.

And now I'm hevin a headache.

Today is just messed up,

I skipped 2 classes,

I rush here and there.

><".

I 4got I hev a tuto task 2 do,

Gonna do it now.

I realize I hev 2 force myself not 2 sleep and force myself 2 wake up no matter how much I hate it.

Ought to slp by 3am and wake up by 7am.><"

That's all for now.

Goodnight world. Leave me alone for now.

I need some rest from the outside.

Tuning out from reality.

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

Guilty|Conscience

I hate myself when I'm being the exact person that I don't fancy.

Crap. Wot I'm talking about?

Now I know what it feels like to be on the other side.

To not have the time to handle everything.

I have to push myself.

Have to complete my assignments quick.

Whether it's group work or not.

I have to work on it more.

Be a better person!!

Juz wanted 2 say so sorry 4 my group members.

And thank you so much 4 understanding.><"

Aja2 Fighting!!

-lilrig-

- -

By Sicreci

What|The...

...HECK...><"

Amount Used Today:

1. RM18-Dedications

2. RM23-KACC T-Shirt

3. RM20-PT Coupons

Unpaid

4. RM35[OCS Book]

Nvm about the money. I'm running out of time now.

Sat 2pm got presentation. Got rehearsal for PT 2.

Which obviously I can't make it for the PT one.

And then Sun morning got Replacement class.

Mon Rehearsal also clash with Ko-K.

Giler sial. Clash sini clash sane. ><"

So many thgs 2 do. My time table can't fit oso.

I feel so sorry if I didn't do my part in the group work.

But my hands are so tight I feel like I'm gonna burst.

Honestly, I cud fork up sum time.

The problem with me is.

My time management sux.

I get kan jiong all the time.

I juz duno how 2 arrange wot I shud do, when I shud do.

It's all messed up. ><"

Whatever it is, I'm going 2 bed and head 2 class in the morning.

Good night world.

Don't miss me. Lol.

-lilrig-