Live it Right

Life is about making Something out of Nothing at all. If you're able to do that, you're able to do Everything.

Painted Life

Life is like a flower, painted to perfection, yet at the end it wilts, fragile as it is, only the stem left unbroken.

Fallen Leaves

Like the autumn leaves, we fall at times, only to find ourselves blown away by the wind, and thus we reach yet another place.

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Archive for 02.2010

A Post Without Image

胆:小:鬼

原来,我真的是个胆小鬼。
不敢诚实的面对自己,欺骗别人,也欺骗自己。

累,每天这样觉得。
不够睡?也许吧。
应该早睡早起。
我却迟睡早起。
每天无神色的去做工。
同事看了我也是同一句。
脸色苍白。
发现到我早上醒来的样子真是不行。
有够糟糕的。

一个人微笑时是最美的。
可是我却爱哭。
是个爱哭鬼。
我也好想微笑。
因为快乐的人自然显得漂亮~!

所以,我每天在提醒自己,记得笑。
哭过就好了。
不需要压抑自己,更不需要假装坚强。
我想,保护我的那道墙。
不知何时会消失呢?

珊。

A Post Without Image

:Undecided:

I got my results yesterday, didn't hit my target, but was what I've expected it to be. I don't expect much of anything I do. Then I wouldn't be hit by major disappointment, hence preventing me from striving hard too. In some ways I'm just laid back and couldn't care less. In others, perhaps I'm just lazy and slack. So yea. Here's what running through my mind now.

I'm still undecided what do I do now. Was planning to take english course, but surely we need to have alternatives. So my sis was saying why not take mass com, hmm, thought of that before. But I'm afraid the chances of taking that course is slimmer than english. What the heck, I'll try my luck. I always let fate decides.

Always been that way, always will be. I just state my pick and c wher it brgs me, or see wher it stops me. I don't really care less? I cried last nite. I hate thinking of these stuff. I hate it a lot. It isn't my dream, it's others dream on me. I don't really know my own dreams. ><"

I hate the idea of having to leave the place I'm so used to. I hate the idea of having to be on my own, especially some other place where it isn't Melaka. I hate it a lot. I'm afraid. I'm scared to the max. I don't even dare thinking of it. Time and time again the same thing crosses my mind. Will I survive being on myself?? I don't even dare to think about it.=.=

But now, just a few months to go. And I'll be decided even if I do not decide. So what do I do now? If only I could "Leave out all the rest" like Linkin Park. But I can't. There's a time when we have to grow up. When we have to come back from our Dreamland and face Reality. And now's the time. The time to decide what do I want to do with my life. A stepping stone to cross the bridge that is a mile stone across. Well then, until I decided. This will be it. Let fate decides what happens next. =)

PS: I pick the choices, fate will decide.

A Post Without Image

:Types:

The most commonly asked questions for the ones that are single.

What kind of guy/girl do you fall for?
What do you see in a guy/girl?
What type of guy/girl attracts you?

The fact is that, everyone will offer you different set of answers. 
And most of the times, when they are no longer single. Their partner will not be the one they described it to be. It just happens so.

1st off. What kind of guy? 
Well, I have no ANSWER to that myself. But if you look at the ones I fell for in the past. Mayb it's the ones that are tall & thin? Or perhaps that's PURE coincidence? Coz I honestly think falling for a person's PHYSICAL outlook spells a FAIL relationship. Yea, so stop looking at the cover. And read deep into the book. Lol. Don't judge a book by it's cover?

Kind of guys I would prefer however.
+Sensitive to my emotions.
+Being able to accept me for who I am.

2nd off. What do I see?
I see a heart that's true. A heart that's sincere. Now that I finally realize, there are times when it's true, at that very moment. Even if it's not after that. It was. And that's suffice to know, that both of us ain't wrong. We just ain't the right one for each other. =)

3rd off. What type attracts me?
A guy that could make me laugh. A guy that isn't afraid of being who he is. A guy that truly cares for me.

Of the 3 traits, I guess the 1st one is the toughest. It's rly HARD 2 meet sum1 that cud make me laugh. I know many who cud make me cry easily. But not laugh. I always say, you are what you attract. Guess the reason y, is because it's hard for me to make ppl laugh too.

There's more to what I write here actually. But I don't really think it's necessary for me to elaborate. Coz at the end of the day, we all seek for different things. Our happiness is not valued by how much we get, but by how much we give to another. There are times when we find joy in the joy of others. Make PEACE!~!

Here's another thing, when you truly love someone: Age, Height, Weight, Race, etc. Will not be an ISSUE. Not at all.
PS: I Love You. J

A Post Without Image

距:离

话说,友谊每七年就要更新一次,看来也是真的。
距离,是一端难以跨越的线。
担心,却不知该做什么来拉进。

跟他们越来越疏远了。
到我,开始真正的感觉一个人。
也许,这是自然界的现象。
或许,大家都变了。
新年的期间,都跟几班朋友出去,走走,拜年。
当中,感觉到,中学的那班,已经不再像以往了。
再也回不到过去。
他们都长大了,个交了新的朋友。
连我弟,也不需要我了吧。
又想起了那首歌。

傻瓜,我们都一样。。。相信付出会有代价,代价只是一句。。。傻瓜。。。
看来,我真的是个傻瓜。
今天朋友玩真心话大冒险。
每次到我,就问我关于男生的问题。
问我,不会看上怎样的男生。
我说,比我矮的。
我知道,自己不应该那样。
我也相信爱情是无条件的。

有人说,改天,我一定跟一个比我矮的。
谁知道?也许呢。
还问我,是不敢爱,还是不想爱。
这个,我也不懂要怎么回答。
也许是想,却不敢。
或者是敢,却不想?
寂寞,是一定会的。
但又有谁,知道我心里的深处呢?

说回友谊,之前没那么好的,
现在反而比较close了,我反而觉得,
那一班还比我弟他们有心,
也许I hold on too much to them,
是时候放手了,像我弟,也懂事了。
Maybe it's time I stop depending on their friendship.
It's time I move on.

I'm tired, got to sleep now. Goodnight.

PS: I Love You. J

A Post Without Image

Season:To:Gamble

Today:

Haha, been playing cards 4 the past 3 days, slpt at 3 laz nite, our stakes not say very high oso, min rm1, which is wot most ppl play, but, ek ek, laz nite ada menang sikit, hari ni kalah quite wot I won laz nite...zzz...geram, sebab play black jack sampai boring ad, so switch 2 in between, laz round my cousin sapu habis rm20 on the table, so dangerous man, but damn "qi kek"...haha, I wanna play sumore ler, but all goin bak 2nite, T.T...kena pi cari kaki lain ni....

Ohya, u noe we kids[which is not rly kids anymore...=P] play blackjack@21 got different rules, so when the adults see us play they keep comment, we tell them, ni batu berendam rules la adui, they keep say mana bleh mcm ni...zzz..><"...

Then I remember sth, told my cousin, when we small we play monopoly oso sendiri punya rule, kaka, x ikut punya...we damn Geng one, hehe...lol, that's how we've been playing all this while. N I dun usually play wif my frenz, I duno, 2 me family alwiz cums bfor frenz, it's nt anythg, juz how it works, if u ask me about lover n family, well, that I hev no answer 2. I try 2 be ther 4 my frenz, but no matter wot, I'll put my family bfor them.

Mayb bcoz I've been blessed with a good family. I duno? That's how I feel? Regardless of how I dislike the pig's character in my hse. But I told her, u pay 4 ur own sins, u commit ur own sins, I can "tegur" her, but it is not my duty 2 "fix" her, juz like how no one else can change who I am unless I let them. Coz I noe, I'll pay 4 it in the end. Not anyone else. Hmm.

I'm in a dilemma 4 sum1's else dilemma towards me. I hate to be this way, but I hate 2 giv ppl hope either. So I keep quiet, coz juz like when u play blackjack, if u get 15, u can either run, stand, or take. If u run, u lose nth, if u stand u x cukup makan, still die, if u take, u will either win or lose. Wot r the possibilities?? Tough one, har? Yea. That's how I feel. If I run, I lose nth, but the banker will lose mine. So so. Don't rly noe wot 2 do, so I'm standing at 15, hoping the banker dies 2, then I dun hev 2 pay him? Lol, weird xplaination, muz be losing it, dun bother, I dun even understand that myself, doing it again...><"....

Ok, well, woke up 7 sth in the morn, alarm rang 3 times, zzz, went out 2 tuan bai at 8am, go makan dimsum after a few hse, then cum bak 2 my hse, can't 4low them anymore, coz hev 2 celebrate mamak's bday, usually on the 2nd day nite lor, duno y this year they do lunch on the 3rd day. So so, damn la, this year kurang angpau, sebab kurang org datang, even my relatives. So WEIRD...><"...

Kla, then ar, wot I wanted 2 say ya. Ok, I remember, here goes.

Yesterday:

Went 2 my uncle's open hse 4 lunch, every year oso sama, every year I'll go over my fren's place shun bian bai nian, then kebetulan he's goin out wif my sai lou, so his mother say them, y nvr brg me? I say aiya auntie, biasalah, guys wot, they go out won't call girls de. Reasons? They kena jaga imeg[But I doubt my frenz do that, even infront me when they swear, I terus pukul...I pantang dgr org use swear words]...another one, Coz we girls dun like wot the guys like, as in movies, topics 2 chat, automobiles, sports, blah2. That's y, pluz they wanna talk girls, xkan wan talk infron of girls? Haha...

Then my sai lou say go lor, 4low them lor, I say ok[evil, kaka, xD...sengaja pi buat kepo]...sebab gua x benda buat...yg teruk nya ialah, damn! A guy that's been hevin feeling 4 me went 2, n my sai lou knew about he liking me. ><"...n he keep buat "de" je... he told me he noe, but act like he duno...cish...budak tu...alwiz like that...wot did we do ar? Oh, wot did the guys do, they go sing k lor, I sang a couple lor, of my fav song, haha, I didn't click oso, all they click, saje nyanyi. 2 hours, then went 2 DP GSC, tgk little BIG Soldier... Damn funny man. But story line wise, I'll say it's rly not much of a story?? The focus is more on the humor part, sure hev some moral in it thou. Like I said bfor, Every story has a moral that comes with it...c my previous blog post. C, I remember wot I wrote...=D...true indeed.

Oh yea, we went 2 char chan teng, bfor the movie starts, hungry d ma, ordered french toast wif ham, nt bad, quite nice, hehe, coz the full meal damn big one, I noe I sure can't finish d, nasib x order tu...

Ohya ohya, paiseh, the main thg I wanna talk about, was the guy? Well, I seriously duno how 2 face him now. I told him that after he msg me wif lots of questions n comments about how I'm treating him, to me, either way I treat him now wouldn't be rite, if I treat him nice, he'll continue 2 like me, if I treat him bad, he'll hate me? Mayb that's wot I want? But dun nid 2 cum 2 that stage rite? So I tried 2 make him patah hati, by saying I like sum1 else. But he say after he saw me yesterday he knew he cudn't 4get me, n he's act angry wif me 4 treating him the way I do. 

Laz nite went out 2gether, he oso ada, but we barely spoke, he ask, I ah, oh, ok, mcm tu je. But I spoke n laugh wif all the other guys. So he ask me y can't I treat him the same. I answer him bak, bcoz it's my character. Someone ought 2 noe this well, when I treat him no better than the rest, but he still treat me better than the rest, I noe I noe. U noe u noe. Hee..=P...I noe a guy like him, when he give, he xpect 2 get bak sth, their character mmg like that, I'm vise versa, when I like sum1, I'll give as long as he's happy, SERIOUSLY. Without asking 4 anythg else. Sure will wish, but I won't ask. But him, he xpect me 2 feel the same. N I don't...So I told him, unless u treat n thk of me as not more than a fren. Otherwise I cannot treat you like how I do evryone else...

Aikz2, haven upload the pix yet, will do later, hehe, xda masa, bo pian, evryday play go out play go out...=P...btw, regarding that movie, well, I like the one that play lee hom's bro than lee hom or jackie chan, although his bro suppose 2 be the bad guy, I'm weird, I alwiz like the sidekick@villain...kaka...xD...another thg, I juz realize how annoying it is 2 hev sum1 that tells me a show I enjoy watching that it is not nice. There was 6 of us, me 1 girl, 5 guys, oni that 1 guy, the one that likes me, keeps saying the movie nt that nice. I say ok ok...well, u dun like it, I get it, dun hev 2 repeat it. So now I noe, so I'll alwiz say this, when there's ppl who produce such show, there will be ppl who watch such show? So fair enuf? The guy's name is Yoo Seung Jun, a south korean former pop star...hehe...

That's all 4 2day, I'm sure there's mistakes above, but, wth, malas nak betulkan, haha, so so, sudahlah...if u c anythg I wrote weird, juz let me noe la...btw, children dun gamble k, kita main 4 fun aje la aiyo...CNY je, bukan slalu...haha...xD


PS: I Love You. J

A Post Without Image

Absent:Minded

It's CNY, pluz V-Day, which the latter doesn't rly mean anythg 2 me, juz another day 2 go by, sure means a lot 2 my sis bf thou, haha, valentine boy+cny boy 2day, hmm, I'm tired, still haven recover from my flu, took lots of panadol ad, my mum went out 2 try n get sum flu meds yesterday, but semua pharmacy n clinic sudah close..><"...so hari ni byk jia lat, zzz, now ok a bit d la, hse got a couple flu med sumore.

Neway, whenever I'm sick, I dun like ppl 2 bug me, well, nobody does rite? Ok then, u all noe my driving sux rite? If I got the guts, n the skills to drive properly, I dun mind fetching ppl, but I don't, even now, I still mati enjin. That's y I dare not fetch ppl, not say I dunwan 2 fetch. 

Sadly, most of my "girl" frenz, no offence yea? Can drive, drive very good oso. BUT cannot fetch ppl...byk alasan one, one is PETROL, another is DISTANCE, lagi is MALAS. I say I pay 4 ur petrol sudah. ><"...seriously, I dun like 2 trouble others 2 pik me, but nt that I hev a choice yea? I can oni drive SHORT distance, I noe, I pun byk alasan, sebab gua takut, so I dun rly hev the right 2 complain about them.

But then? My guy frenz can pik me as long as I ask them[even thou I prefer not 2, coz I dun like 2 trouble them all the time 2], but the girls...hyez, sudahlah, I malas nak panggil...no wonder there's oni "Ahmad" as in male drivers, but not female drivers. Don't recall seeing any on the street that is. I'm in a sick mode, if ur offended by wot I'm writing here. Sorry.

Neway, regarding the post title, well, I took the cam n use, then I lost it. Alamak, n then I dun recall taking it or losing it. Then my sis oso dun recall the pouch wif the cam or not...find find find whole day x dpt cari. Up n Down, Low n High, sigh. Can't even remember, since morning x jumpa, then when we got bak from visiting in the evening, my cousin found it, then my sis niao me, she say the pouch is at my uncle's car. Then baru gua ingat, while I was taking pix, I left it infront of the car. Nasib kat situ bukan lain tempat, coz he drove the car go else where tadi...zzz...nasib x hilang, yao bu ran habis gua kena niao...kena scold lagi, say I alwiz like that, alwiz absent minded, hyez. I oso duno how not 2 be absent minded. Memory SUX...

Okla, that's all 4 now, slept at 3am+ laz nite, was watching a movie by Heath Ledger. Casanova. Hehe, heard of the movie, x sangka got show!! Hehe, so hepi~! Y so late ar? Coz it's 12.30am movie. Lol.

Damn, I love it, the costumes, the fighting scenes, the romance, the place!!! Venice, oh gosh...watching the movie, I'm nt sure if it's the character itself or Heath's acting skill. Like his character, I rly thk he cud easily make girls fall 4 him, 2 charming indeed...so it seems, it rly is a pity that he died young, may he r.i.p...

Casanova is a 2005 American romantic film directed by Lasse Hallström starring Heath Ledger loosely based on the life of Giacomo Casanova and described by a tagline as "A partially true story about lies told, virtue lost and love found." -Wiki


PS: I Love You. J

A Post Without Image

别:来:打:扰

生病还没好呢,通常睡一觉就好了,可是我又睡不着。
朋友,是个加减乘除的东西。
所谓的加,是每一天在认识的朋友。
而减,就是Hi Bye Friends,对于这种朋友,不需要感到遗憾还是可惜,因为只要相遇过,认识过,相处过,就是一种缘分。
乘,你会发现,我们会从朋友那里认识到他们的朋友,所以数到来,也等于在数乘法表。
除,没有你的心的朋友,把你当作过路的朋友,那我们也没必要去想起,或是记起。因为我们的心是有限的,把那些无谓的人开除,就有空间了。=)

写到好像这么悲观吧?没有啦,因为如果不这么做,不开心的也是自己。最近好忙哦!一直出去,还一直花钱。我快要宣布破产了。。。呵呵。。。
最近,也思考了许多,一直在反省自己,反正,我也不知道该写什么了,就这样吧。生病的人总是有点失魂。就让我一个人静一静吧,累了,要睡了。

这是我堂哥的狗,King Charles, his name is Charles. Lol... So cute rite???!!! But I dare not hug him, like a baby neh neh...Kawaii des ka neh~!!!><

A Post Without Image

It's:So:Tiring

Argh, it's so tiring man, standing the whole day, I thought I'll survive, oni one day n argh, no wonder my sis cabut after 2 days, haha. Seriously, that's y I nvr applied 4 promoter job, neway, went 2 d old JJ n work 2day, do sampling, juz ganti my fren, coz she had another job on her hand, she mmg byk kerja punya, laz nite she told me today oni, mane tau 2day she tell me 2 days, zz, okla, since ad work one day, work another day lo, bsides, gud pay wot, RM140 for 2 days, juz enuf 2 cover 4 the thgs I spent on 2day, wakaka...

Been aiming 4 a jeans from Giordano eventhou I already had 5 jeans...=P...n I did say I dunwan 2 buy jeans anymore, but I dunhev skinny jeans, n it fits me, nt so tight oso[I dun like leg hugging jeans], kinda loose act?? Yea, I'm dat thin...kaka, ask my fren buy 4 me, she use staff discount, 30% off, otherwise I sure won't buy...keke...when it cums 2 getting benefits, my muka very tebal one, I'll try 2 find whoever can get discount 4 me, lol...I'm a "bad" girl...

So 2day spent RM140 lor...coz I bought Bio-Oil sumore, 4 my scar lor...bought eh...ling ling lang lang lor..hehe, dunwan tell. Neway, money is tight man, zzz...use it 2 pay my hutang liao neh....so left less than half oni..wu wu...T.T...so sad, sigh, kena tahan lagi satu hari lor, then satu lagi minggu, then yay..!!! 1 WEEK HOLIDAY!!! YAHOO~!!! Hooray hooray!!! Woo lala...4 that one week holiday, I shall persevere...zzz...><"..yatta!!

Oh oh, I 4got 2 mention, went 2 watch Tiger Woo Hoo laz nite, I shall say, it's a show u definitely shud watch, but I thk it means more 2 watch it wif ur family...=)...so geli hati sial...support M'sian production yea?

Oops, another thg, I juz realize that there are people with good intentions, but the way they interpret or speak out their thoughts, might not be right, and may come off as cocky n offensive. N I remember how "piss off" I look, coz I saw sum1 that look juz like that...man it rly pisses ppl off, I shall keep up my smiley face...=D..hee, lol, well, I dun like 2 speak much, got 2 noe a friendly girl 2day, another promoter bside my stand, she say I seem quiet, haha, I get that way around strangers no? Yea, anyhow, I muz remember 2 smile...coz I realize that I either make ppl smile by my smile, or make ppl piss by my piss off look...lol...ofcoz the smile one is better?

PS: I Love You. J

A Post Without Image

Breaking:Down:Again

What are we vying for? What am I vying for? Feel like dropping everything. Breaking down again.

A Post Without Image

:Meaningful:

Got this in my e-mail. So TRUE isn't it?

PS: I Love You. J

A Post Without Image

I'm:Done

Yay, finally done with the cookies, eh, u noe? I don't eat the kuihs I help to make, but oven fresh yea, haha, damn nice, other than that, I juz dun eat it, such as pineapple tarts, n the cookies my aunt was making. Well, it's so tiring while I'm at work, funny thg is I still hev the energy 2 help my aunt after that. My grandma helped my aunt as well. N my aunt keep saying she can't sit still, she don't rly wan my grandma 2 help so much, bcoz it's very hot in the kitchen, but my grandma wouldn't listen. Like she said, it's rly boring n makes ppl sleepy when u hev nth 2 do. That's y I feel damn tired n bored while I'm at work instead of when I'm helping with the cookies. Aikz, that's one reason I nvr apply for a promoter job, seriously thk I'll get so bored standing there...err...

Finally can hev sum rest, eventhou I had oni work 20 hours altogether, heh. Not that much har? Well, do finish d wot...=P...read yesterday's newspaper at work 2day. I seriously no time 2 read newspaper oso..T.T..neway, got an article on single women, what's with the fuss of the v day cumin soon. Lol.

Neway, read quite a few thgs, n here's one thg I wanna talk about. Too many people cares too much about what the society thinks. They forgot that they are one of the societies. Ppl will oni thk so if u thk so urself. So stop thinking that way. Duh. You are what you Attract. Keep that in mind. I dun rly wanna attract lonely souls anymore. It bores me when all those single ppl juz keep complaining 2 me how lonely they r.

Zzz...another reason is that, when u face a person 2 long, u'll get influence by them as well. That's true, juz found out recently, coz I start talking like my colleague, not one, but 2 of them, the words they like 2 use, duh. No wonder two couples in love will start hevin thgs in common even if they might not hev any bfor. Lol.

Kla, blah blah enuf d, wanna watch my drama...Hehe,
Next Stop>>Happiness & You're Beautiful...Currently obsessed with this Guy>>Jung Yong Hwa, an actor of the korean drama, n a band member of C.N.Blue...


PS: I Love You. J