Live it Right

Life is about making Something out of Nothing at all. If you're able to do that, you're able to do Everything.

Painted Life

Life is like a flower, painted to perfection, yet at the end it wilts, fragile as it is, only the stem left unbroken.

Fallen Leaves

Like the autumn leaves, we fall at times, only to find ourselves blown away by the wind, and thus we reach yet another place.

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Archive for 07.2009

A Post Without Image

+Wasurenagusa[Forget Me Not]...

Notice: Be back on 8th August, I know I keep changing my time, eh well, school is closed until next tuesday, due to suspected numbers of H1N1 case, and I'll be spending the time to study, so I might as well, finish this now. However much I want to update my other blogs, sadly, it's time consuming. So take care, till then, I wish you enough. =)

"You don’t have to understand people to love them.”-Yasmin Ahmad

True to her words, people love her, even when most of us don't even know her, the way she thinks, how one can possibly see things the way she did? And I doubt in a million years there will be another soul like her.

It's been four days now, but tears I still shed even when I tell myself not to. Every time I come across an article of her, it's like an automatic switch that goes off by itself, that's how much it hurts, the fact that she's gone. But still, "The pain will go away, but the beautiful moment stays on forever, and so will she." Just like the girl in Sonnet 18. Embeded in Shakespeare's poem. She is embeded in her films.

While I was spring cleaning my stuff, I found a copy of "Sepet", but unfortunately, only had the 2nd disc, no idea where the 1st went 2, n cum 2 thk of it, y do we alwiz realize sth when it's gone, we thought it'll be there forever, as long as we live. But it's not, n I nvr did get to watch "Gubra", eventhough I wanted to, even when I saw the dvd sold in stores, but I never did purchase it, hopefully I will be able to, "Muallaf"[Will speak on this later] as well. Then again, if only those idiots will just stop banning her shows!! I watched Mukhsin & Talentime in the cinemas, the former with my grandma, the latter with my sis. I doubt I'll be able to pursuade my friends to watch them, Mukhsin sounded too Malay, but her show never was about Malays. It's about Malaysians, living in harmony with each other. If there is ONE person who can make 1Malaysia possible, that would be her.

As I watch the other half of "Sepet", my tears just kept falling down, I forgot what the movie meant to me, I was only 14 then, but now I do. It was what you'll never get to see in any other movies, movies of P.Ramlee standard, that you won't mind watching over and over again, and still laugh at the same old joke. I grew up watching his movies btw, many didn't. As you can tell, I never was a typical chinese girl, eventhough my grandma always calls me "Cina Erk", that's as far good a pronunciation I can make of, never knew how to spell that word.

People seem surprise to know that I used to watch Hindustani movies, and that too as much as P.Ramlee's, the tv still repeats his movies, but I don't watch it anymore, perhaps I just grew out of it, or perhaps, I've already seen it all, at least a large number of it. But all of it will always remain in a part of my memory. "It doesn't matter if you've changed course, sail the other way; What matters is that you never forget where you came from, what brings you here, what makes you the person you are today."

Where else can you find a film compiling of malay, chinese, siam and even latin songs? And best of it with a Bengali poem as an inspiration? Since my blog post is too long, read it here.
"Your Questioning Eyes" by Rabindranath Tagore.

And one of the Quotes from the movie that caught me is this,
"People in the olden times can marry each other regardless of race but people in today's more civilized society tend to fight over and think too much of such matters."-Keong
I couldn't agree more, does it really matter? I thought love comes only with the heart? But for one to say so, I still cannot think the way she did.

"I used to write poetry because to me, it was like writing letters to God; to tell someone I couldn’t see, how I felt inside. Then finally, God replied. With a poem more beautiful than anything I had ever written. He gave me you."-Jason
I'm an agnostic atheist, I don't believe in God, the creator of the world, but I cannot say He doesn't exist, I believe in deinties, the one chinese prays to, I believe in the Buddha, that only wants us to take lessons from his teaching. A guidance for our life. If there is God, there's more than one, and God damn they're having Wars of their own, how else would you explain the fightings among their fellow workshippers, killing in the name of God? But then again, however ironic it is for me to say, I truly believe, that she's a messenger from God.

In the name of God, the most Gracious and most Merciful [Bismillahirahmanirrahim-奉大仁大慈真主的尊名]
That's how much she trusted in hers, and I respected her for that. If there is one thing ppl fail to understand, is that Race & Religion? All of those doesn't matter when you're down under. She stayed true to her faith, and she stayed true to her roots. That is what makes her one of a kind. But these days, "they who shall not be named[for I blv it'll get me in trouble]" has long forgotten their roots, they forgot who they really are, where they came from, being a "Muallaf" doesn't mean you have to be one of them, that's another thing altogether, it doesn't defines who you are. For one that covers up head to toe, what is there for them to hide? Beautiful hair, hidden? Why? Guilty of sth? Okay, I'll zip my mouth at that. Yasmin has a heart that no one can compares.

The last video recording of her in an interview, and she looked just as optimistic as she always claimed herself to be.



"You can say you believe in this, but if you don't behave that way, nobody will believe you."
"We can't just talk the talk, but walk the walk."
"1Malaysia means that we embrace differences, that we go by the Quran advice, that God has created many different tribes, and the reason for this is just so you can get to know one another."
"The Buddha said will put on us to suffer and experience, and overcome."
"In a way, it's good to have problems. It is only by overcoming them, that we become better people."
"We are meant to have faults. How well you judge a person, is basically by how they overcome them. Nobody is born flawless."

Over the years, I find myself being more sarcastic and cynical, but I don't have a problem with that. Do you? If there's one thing I've learnt watching her films, is that: "There will always be people who hates you, who only wants to see you fall. But then, at the other end, stood the people who loves you, and will wait for you no matter how slow you are."

P.S.: I'm not done, more from Sepet here. I'll continue later, enough for today, there're just so many things we need to understand, and by writing it out, I'm beginning to get a grasp of it. "Little by little, it's better to have known than not known at all."

Love, Jane

A Post Without Image

+R.I.P: Yasmin Ahmad...

Yasmin Ahmad[1958-2009]

KUALA LUMPUR, July 25 (Bernama) -- Renowned film and advertising director Yasmin Ahmad died here at about 11.25 pm Saturday night. Her death was confirmed by Media Prime Group Chief Operations Officer Datuk Seri Ahmad Farid Ridzuan, who was at the Damansara Specialists Hospital, when contacted by Bernama. Yasmin, 51, collapsed while presenting a working paper at Sri Pentas, the headquarters of the private television station TV3 on Thursday and was rushed to the Damnsara Specialists Hospital. She was reported to have suffered a stroke and brain haemorrhage. -- BERNAMA


Yellow Zinnia: Remembrance

May her soul rest in peace,
May she lives on in our heart,
May her legacy never dies,
and may people LIVE the way she did.

Love, Jane

A Post Without Image

+天才比赛:初赛。Threads of Destiny...

+今天,跑去学校看天才比赛,妹有唱歌跳舞,可是后来也没进到啦,竞争还蛮强的,因为公开给外校的关系,所以,她也没什麽咯,尽力就好。
+去年的我,也在天才比赛决赛见识了他那对舞蹈的热情,他跳舞时认真的表情,让我觉得认真的人真的很好看,很耀眼。
+今年,感觉,却不一样了,不知道,是因为自己对他没感觉了,还是他本身对舞蹈的热情已经不如过往了。
+朋友进入了决赛,所以决赛也要去捧场咯,呵呵,今年竞争还真有呢,因为很多外校生参赛的关系,还好评判有眼光,没有偏帮谁,因为都是之前的学哥学姐咯,可是出来的成绩还是公平的啦。
+看到了以前很好,又很久不见的一位朋友,可是现在都没什麽联络了,让我想起了一些事,这些事用英文来写比较方便。



+Getting frustrated with my friends, but trying not to, and trying not to make it seem so obvious, they live their life, I live mine, I do my best to keep in touch, but there's a limit to everything, if they don't need me, then I'll just budge off.
+One of the reason is that, I either care 2 much, or I'll juz care as much as u do, mostly the latter, for there's not much of a reason 4 me 2 care 2 much anymore, ppl tend 2 not appreciate it, and I'm not like my frenz who cud care 4 me without asking 4 anythg but 4 me 2 be hepi, for being underappreciated, makes me very unhappy.
+It's all in our mindset act, if you can fix your mindset, then your deeds will be counted as sincere, if not, it will not be, but an act of kindness without the heart to come with it. Just ain't my style.
+Take for example, a man that is a vegetarian, but wears fur and leather. He regards eating meat is an act of sin, and so he becomes a vegetarian, but at the same time, he forgot, the purpose of being a vegetarian is that they say no to killing, but wearing clothes made from animal skin, what makes him then?
+That is a story that sticks to my mind from a storybook call "The Love of Life", it's a storybook about the Buddha & fellow commoners, that depicts how contradiction life is, and how to make it less contradiction.
+Another example is that, when a rich woman gives out thousands of money to the poor but with no heart except for show that she is a kind woman, then the deed will not be counted. But when a poor women gives her hand to others in need, with a heart sincerely that others do not befall the same fate as her, then she has done a very great deed.
+So as to say, there are many examples in life that I can just take from and write it down, but there's no point really, for humans are forgetful, I am myself, I tend to forget the important things in life, and get frustrated over small matters, that's how it is, but that is also the way I am.
+It is important for us to know that what really comes from the heart is all there is, or else it will be of no substance but a show of an act.

+Back to what I was about to discuss, is the common excuse, "Busy", everyone tells me they're busy, and so the question, am I not myself? I probably am way to carefree, but then again, what comes after their excuse, is that they have time for another, but they do not have time for me. Saying this itself, I find it ridiculous for me, for I somehow realize, I am that way, with certain people, learn from the mistakes of others, do not do what you hate others to do.
+But, I still have to say it out, in order to prevent me from doing the things they do. I have a best friend in school, that doesn't really connect with me anymore, and rather drastically, when last year, we were talking on the phone almost once every two or three days, consoling her over her heart affairs, her worries, her break-up, well, basically, we grew closer again at that time, and she told me that it will be a time when we will cool down and drift apart again, but it's ok, for I understand that it is friendship nature.
+A friendship that can withstand the test of time, is one that will last till the end of time.
+What upsets me is that, she can't even say "Hi" to me when she pass me by, it's like I'm starting to not exist in her world anymore, and some people may just say I'm being over sensitive, but I acknowledge people when I see them, what's more to my friends, but almost every day she walks pass me without a smile, what's to say a word. I kinda feel invisible, and this is not me being sensitive.
+Seriously, you'll know when your friend kinda disregard your existence.
+It kinda piss me off, but there's nothing I can do, maybe things will get better after skul is over, but I doubt that.
+Kinda get used to it already, I'm a really convenient friend somehow, how I wish I will not be at times, whenever someone breaks down, I try to be there for them, for I would want the same when I do. And for that, I have friends that grew closer to me, but also friends that grew dependant on me, but all those doesn't really matter compare to friends that gets the wrong idea. Sigh...

+What I mean by that? Heh well, when I'm nice to some guys, when I care for them like no one else would, when I'm there for them when they break down, they tend to fall for me. And they thought only emotional girls are vulnerable towards guys that are there for them during their most fragile period.
+It's not that it's a bad thing, I'm not saying it is, thing is, those are the wrong reasons to fall for a person. If I were to end up with either of them, the relationship will falter very soon after, for they just need a listener, someone to be there for them, not someone to share everything they believe in.
+The more I type, the more I'm drifting from the actual subject, but who cares, I tend to do that alot, and another kind of guys, are those that finds me "Different" from the other girls, for once, I actually do not like being "Different", if that is the reason guys find me attractive, that happens a lot. I know, guys always think the girls they like are different, but my different is really different from the others.
+My "Different" is because I'm an unpredictable girl, I do not smile, I listen to evry genre of music that girls don't usually appreciate, I fix my hairstyle the way I want it, and not according to the "in" thing, I dislike "in" things, and do not follow trends, I'm weird in the eyes of some, crazy in the eyes of others. That is the answer you'll get when you ask what I'm like. I'm "Different" in a sense that I'm emo, but I also believe in happiness, believe in making the life of others better, believe in giving joy to another, for that is where I seek my happiness.
+When it comes to a guy that a girl loves, who she is doesn't matter, she can be anyone, but infront of that guy, she'll be a little girl in love, mark my words for that. If a girl can be like that, and you can accept her being like that, then you two might just be "The Perfect Lovers".
+For once, I don't want a guy coming up to me and say that I'm different@unique@special, for I will be no different from the rest if you stole my heart and leave it bleeding it for you, all I want is for a guy to look into my heart and get to know me and accept me the way I am.
+So for this, I will not seek love, this is not the time, and why do I write this now? So that I remember what being "Different" means to me.

+Bak to the friendship thingy, like it isn't enuf 4 one fren 2 not see me, I hev another that wudn't find me. Duh. And she's suppose 2 be my best fren, it takes days to get her 2 reply my sms, n that is after I send her another sms, most of the times, she still doesn't reply.>.<"
+And the excuse is, not bcoz she doesn't hev credit, or her number expired, but bcoz she was too busy? Yea, dat's y I said I hate that excuse, very much, n for someone to say she's busy, she's probably busy sms-ing with the guys she's flirting with[I'm not accusing without proof, I'm upset, sorry 4 my words, I'm being sarcastic, sue me].
+Sorry to say this, even if you read this, I'm kinda annoyed, when you promised, and when you said you have something to tell me, and just leave me hanging, it gets even more annoying, crap, I try not to show it, I try to be a good friend, but I know that's the way you are, that is why I do not make a big deal of it, kinda got used 2 it already, go figure, u're still my best fren, I'll still put up with those, but I'll still feel that way, and that is something I'm hoping you'll understand, until then, forget it. Just venting my frustration anyway, it's my blog, I'm entitled to absolute freedom to write whatever I want. Lol.
+So yea, I had a really unproductive week, and I'm not proud of it, and that explains the change of schedule for me to get online, won't be online until 31st July, that's the day my July test will be over, won't be out until then either. Sigh.
+Feel like I can breathe again, been inside my heart for God knows how long, that explains the super duper long post, that's what happens when I write it all out at once.
+Wish me luck, gambateh neh!! Aja2!!! =)

"Friendships may falter, relationships may fail, but threads of destiny will find its way to you..."

Love, Jane

A Post Without Image

+Monday The 13th...

+Hmm, been blogless for 13 days, hehe, thought I write sth now...hehe, next blog update 21st July, I luv odd numbers, =P



+We all have our own form of Truth & Lies.
+Each of us held on to different things, different memories.
+What may be a lie to you, may just be the truth to another.
+I can't really explain what it means in this form.
+But the truth is, within believe, there is a "lie".
+So thought about somethings about a friend of mine.
+Others may view her as pulling strings and flying kites, when you don't choose either one.
+I thk u get wot I mean, but in her heart, it isn't that simple...
+She isn't sure if that is wot her heart desires.
+If there's sth I've beginning to get a grasp on...
+Is that, u can't rly view thgs exactly the way another does.
+And so u can't rly get a grip on wot they rly thk.
+So most of times, I juz nid 2 understand d reason behind their actions.
+For u nvr noe, he may be feeling juz d same way ur feeling...
+A person may not mean anything to you, but you may have meant everything to him.
+So the next time you wonder why someone did the thgs they did, would u hev done otherwise given ur in his position.
+Sometimes, we juz make thgs worst...
+Nt satisfied wif my writing 2day, I duno y it's grammatically broken, but eh well, dun rly feel like fixing it, sigh, so be it, lol, got band 4 for MUET anyway, wot I expected, but was wishing for 5, nvm la, tcher dissapoint oni, used 2 it ad, I alwiz target wot I can achieve lor...sumtimes "too down to earth" liao, dat's d problem, sumtimes so easily satisfied is nt a gud thg, coz then I'll juz stroll behind, n not rush 4ward, heh, 2 kong xian ad~~lalala~
+Whatever la, xian, no nid 2 an wei me, dun wan 2 hear all those comments, I know la, ppl alwiz say gud enuf ad, better than us ad, bt duno la, english is d one subject I hate nt being good at.
+So wotever la, worse comes 2 worse, I probably go take up english after this n go teach primary skul sudah...=P
+The government is recruiting english tchers wot...hehe, it's nt ez, but then again, anythg easier? Lol, nth is ez, nth except EAT, SLEEP, DREAM, yea~dream on~

"Nothing is easy in life, we all have our own tribulations to face, it doesn't matter if yours is worst than mine, for within different positions, we all suffer the same..."

Love, Jane

A Post Without Image

+Delphinium...

+Wanted 2 write sth, but out of time, was bz wif my other blog, so next time la, will be bak on 13th July, hehe, yesterday[7th July] is a fren's bday, n 13th is another fren's bday, okay, 13 is my lucky number, =P
+N here's a flower for you my frenz.

Delphinium: An Open Heart.
"Keep your heart wide open, to accept life as it is..."

Love, Jane