I:Can't:Shake:It:Off

It's 12pm when I woke up the second time, well, stomach still don't feel well, 7am woke up follow mum go morning market, didn't really buy anything, she bought most of the stuff, sayur la, ikan la, etc. She bought my Vitagen. Hehe. ^^

Then came back duno wot time, but the last I see probably 9.30am stomach x leh tahan slp bak le..I think I'm revisiting history of indigestion. Gosh, it makes me hard not to eat, but even worse after I eat..><". Making me feel like not doing anything. Sigh.

Anyway, what is it that I can't shake it off? I can't shake the feelings or thoughts, I don't know whichever, if it's my heart that feels that way, or my mind that thinks that way. I can't shake the fact that I'm just and still is a little girl. Perhaps not physically, but mentally no doubt. The theories without experience doesn't make a mature person, it simply makes me a mature thinking person, without the act to come with it. 

Put me in a situation that my mind could logical work out what I should do, yet my body won't be able to do what I can do. It's different now that I realize, there are times when it doesn't matter how much you know. It's how much you been through that counts. 

And for 19 years of my life, I'll say I've never really tasted what's 酸甜苦辣, or the hardships people in the real world are facing. That is why I'll say that even for those of my age that thinks and acts like a kid. They're actually better in adapting and facing the real world in compared to me that refuses and are afraid to venture into the real world.

Who am I kidding really? The reason I don't find another job is simply because I'm have no idea what I can stand doing. Promoter? Out of the question, me promote? What the heck can I promote with a face like this? Duh, the most important rule for a promoter is smile always, regardless, I alwiz hate those ppl who service you without a smile. Like wot the government say service with a smile? But me, mayb in 10 years if I learn to Smile Always. Lol.

Waitress? Oso not a good idea. Wash plate can, carry dishes. Nope. Have a fear for heat and fire ever since I'm a kid. Dun dare touch hot things, dun dare take hot things, dun dare carry hot things, not only hot things, can't even carry not hot things without spilling it. Lol.

Clerk har, is sth I've never tried, and I wonder. There are so many jobs that you or I can do actually. But how many jobs don't require me dealing with people eh? Damn, my unsociable skill is gonna get me in trouble some day. The real world is cruel, I know that. That's y I rather stay in my sanctuary day and night. But this won't go on forever will it?

And thinking of which, only 2 months before Uni, if I get in, that will be another BIG PROBLEM to deal with. My god. What the heck do you do with a kid like me. ><". There comes the times when I have to learn to be independent. Do evrything on my own. I just hope the time isn't so soon...T.T..

You know what？I've been really on and off lately...Kejap High giler...kejap Emo giler...siao man. Can't even handle my own mood swings...It's like I lost my direction. Standing in the middle of the road. Now what do I do? I keep hearing the phrase 休息是为了走更长的路。I wonder if it's true？

Neway, what the heck am I crapping here. Gonna off and get my lunch now. So long there.