For those that doesn't know, 閻魔 爱[Enma Ai] as the name suggest is none other than 地獄少女 @ Jigoku Shoujo/Hell Girl.

The very first anime I bought of a box set of cds, dvds weren't that popular then.
The 1st time I set my eyes on it, I have to get it that's all I thought about. 
What can I say? It intrigues me, for a girl that grew up watching Samurai X, Cardcaptor Sakura, Dragon Ball, etc.
She's something different. And it sure wasn't an anime for kids. It was 2006 if I'm not mistaken when I got it.

Only been 4 years, not short, not that long either, but it's one anime, rather one anime character that I kept in mind, that's how much of impact she made, others animes simply seems vague right now. 
And to think that there's a possibility that she's True. 
Not that I intend to seek Revenge on anyone. 
Besides, I certainly don't have enough Hatred to make a deal with her.

Well, here's the thing, the final chapter of Japanese Girl From Hell is finally out in TSGS[True Singapore Ghost Stories] Book 20. 

Thou I'm not an avid fan of ghost stories, even more anything that would spook me. 
My little sis is. She had about 15 of them I think. 1-4 not in her collection.
Well, technically, it's not published anymore anyway, unless they decide to re-publish it.
She's been buying it since Book 5, that is when she's 11 until now, the book is published one per year, and she finish it in just a day. 
She always does that, while my mum keep asking her to study, all she bothers is TSGS, lol. 
If only text books are that interesting.

Anyway, that's not the main thing I wanna talk about.
I've been curious of the Enma Ai story from when it's out in Book 17, 2nd part in Book 18, and so the 3rd and final part is finally out in Book 20.
If it's exactly like the anime, one could easily cross it out as being Bogus.
But that's not what happened.

What happened to the girl that wrote in is even more logical, in compared to the anime.
I think you ought to read it to know what I mean.
You could always take a peek at the story in TSGS at the bookstore to find out.
For one thing, she's a Singaporean that moved to Japan,
Where she got accessed into a Japanese Jigoku Tsushin site.

Since I have no idea how to read Hiragana or Katakana. 
Well, I can't just google up and find out more of the truth behind Enma Ai, if she really do exist, solely in Japan.

While she haven't made a deal with Jigoku Shoujo, the person she resented was killed in an accident.
And when the news is out in the papers.
She got a black mark etched on her chest like a tattoo that I'm thinking resembles this fire symbol.

I found the synopsis of the 1st part that someone posted thou, since I'm lazy to type it all out, if you're curious, you can go read it here.

But only until the final part will you start to doubt your rational mind, can it really be possible? That she really do exist? Whenever my mum happens to watch shows about spirits and the dead on tv[not scary ones ofcoz]. She'll say something. She says there's bound to be people who went there to know such details in the underworld. But was brought back to earth, since their time haven't came. As in a person in coma? That's more likely isn't it?

And if you ask me again, if I believe? 宁可信其有，不可信其无。It is better to believe that it exists than not to.

Since the legend and rumors originated from Japan, I'm thinking if you ever want to know for sure, you can always pay Japan a visit. It'll help if you know Japanese. I may not be a total Believer in the Supernatural. But again, I'll give it the Benefit of the Doubt. So to say, I'll never try to meddle with such things.

Now, I'll go some have some Peace for my Mind. It's so not good for my Insomia, ought to restrain myself from reading it. Better stick to my Fictional Vampires for one thing. Least that I know, if there's one, he doesn't go around lurking in the Darkness, when they say Vampires don't have a Heart, I doubt they have a Brain too, technically, when a person dies, both the Heart and Brain Shuts down. Doesn't it? Zombies more likely.

Eh well, I pray, that life stays normal as it always was.

*All about a book until the blue letters.

It actually took me a month and a week to finish this novel. 
Gosh, time really do fly...I thought I cud finish it within a week, I tried. 
It gets more and more dull as I turn the pages.
Not that it really is dull. Just out of my imaginary. 
It started to become like a world of Harry Potter, too many details, less on the story. 
So many description of how beautifully the Fairy world is. 
Except with my limited imagination, I cudn't picture it all. 
That's y I dun read HP in the 1st place. I don't get it. Until you show me the picture, literally. As in the movie.

Eh well, which novel am I talking about?
It's the Wicked Lovely saga, the 3rd book: Fragile Eternity. 
Let's just hope the 4th installment that awaits: Radiant Shadows can redeem itself.
Until then, let's make a list why this ain't better than the 1st two books in the series.

*Personal Opinion: May contain spoilers.
1. I think the very element that lack in this novel is the Anxiety we felt for in the previous books. The Summer Queen's lover Seth going missing doesn't really make us want to know whatever happens. Surely, I'm fond of that guy, but he and Keenan? I can't even choose between the two.
2. And there's all this jealousy, and Keenan acting like how a mortal guy would have acted in order to win his Queen's heart, he's immortal, he acting like a mortal guy isn't really charming. Not at all.
3. I can't really say much about this, because there really isn't much to talk about. When you get to half of the pages, it's all Seth being in Faerie, without the knowledge of Aislinn, leaving her being heartbroken and all, and turns to Keenan for comfort. Sounds familiar? Ofcoz it is, it's like a typical teenage love story. It's not suppose 2 be. They're the Summer King and Queen. Getting all childish because of love...even thou to be fair, that's what Human does, they're not Human. Lol.
4. The thing that I find interesting instead is Niall of the Dark Court, was a good man, but as he became the Dark King, his presence is both Dangerous and Intoxicating, that's how it felt like, since the first two books revolves all around Aislinn, Keenan, and Seth. I thought Niall deserves more coverage, but sadly, still not enough.
5. Another is Sorcha, The Unchanging Queen, she's an interesting character. Except for her idiotic sister Bananach with such silly name. Seriously? Banana-ch...lol...How do you even pronounce it?
6. Well, I do like most of the other names in the book thou, they all mean sth, most of it of Irish origin.*Summer King Keenan: Ancient, Distant
*Summer Queen Aislinn: Dream
*The Unchanging Queen Sorcha: Bright, Radiant, Light
*Seth: Appointed
*Dark King Niall: Champion
*Winter Queen Donia: World Mighty
7. That's all I can say about it, even thou it took me awhile to finish it. I have a habit of collecting what I started. As in the series of a novel. If I got the 1st book, I'll get it until the last, even if it starts to get boring. I had to find out what happens in the end no matter what.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Enough with the book, a friend of mine just told me his mum passed away a week ago. He's a malay guy, his mum was chinese-muslim. Think I'm gonna write about "Death and what follows" later. Can't really think or say much now.

Anyway, the news is in Nan Yang, I juz google it, took me awhile to find it since it's chinese, didn't know his mum was that young, she's only 42. It was an accident, some orang besar's son punya pasal I thk. Well, juz hope they'll get their answers.

He called me, but didn't really know what to say, I mean. well. Nothing I say will bring his mum back. If it were me, I'll cry non-stop, probably became numb. It's like the world just falls apart that instant. You just don't know what else to do anymore. He's quite the sentimental guy, if only crying help washes away the pain. Does it?

Only time will tell. R.I.P may mean Rest.In.Peace to the dead. It might as well mean Rip.It.aPart to the living.
PS: The only thing that we can never control, is Death.

Ever since we're young,
People has been telling us: "You have to do well in your studies.
Then you can get a good job and go far,
And then you can have the life that everybody dream of having."


There's no guarantee that we will all get what we want.
When you get something you lost another,
That's the way it works,
It just depends how you weight the options that you've got.
And those options leave you no options but to abandon the other.

Dear Diary,

Today, I'm gonna talk about something personal. Something I've known all along. And something that really is due to my own actions.

I never thought people would really talk Bad behind me. Guess I'm that Naive. Well, it's not surprising really, coz whenever my friends get together, that's what they do actually. Human nature har?

Speaking of that, in case you still don't know. I have a habit of openly teasing people, mostly with sarcastic remarks, some of the times it's deemed offensive to them. So I'll understand if they do not think of me highly.

While I know the kind of person I portray to others and how others see me. I couldn't change to fit the image that they think will actually suit me. No, I don't do that, that's something I've learnt over the past years. Never change yourself for anyone else. Change for yourself. And from what I know, people have different understanding about me. Here's a list that I'm sure one of it is how you taught of me.

*A philosophical girl that seems to know so much yet haven't been through that much, seems mature by the outside yet really immature in the inside.
*A friend that never take sides whenever there's arguments between both party. I only support the ones I think is right, as the Chinese says: 帮理不帮亲。
*Always had this blank expression on my face, or simply put it, emo vibes that comes out from me. A girl that doesn't always smile even when she stick a "Smile Always" sticker everywhere.
*A girl that doesn't truly fits to any groups of friends. But rather mix with every kind of them. The fashionistas, the gossipers, the dudes, the chicks, etc.
*The one people find when they have heart aches, but never cross their mind other times. I'm forgettable. Just the same as I'm forgetful.
*Not a partner that's fun to be with, be it group projects or trips. It doesn't really make a difference whether I'm there or not. Most of the time, I'm the left over or extra. Some of the times, because they needed my help. 
*A girl that seems pretty close to the guys, sometimes too close that people think wrongly of me. 

I wasn't always close to the opposite sex, truth be told. I was never close to guys when I'm in primary, even secondary, I think He changed me actually, even though He's in the Forgotten list. My ex-best friend anyway if you're wondering. Because I got close to him, I started to get close with the rest as well. I just realize that.

Btw, the above, I'm not belittle-ing myself, not at all, why would I? When no one's perfect, neither are you. So before you think so highly of yourself perhaps you should look into yourself to even comment another for the same person you're actually are.

It's funny you know, I know it's true because that's what I do. The fact that when someone point others for their wrongs but they themselves commit it as well. I tend to say to my sis the very same thing my mum say to me half of the times. So before you want to say how a person is, perhaps you should review and check if you're just the same.

Whatever it is. Whatever I do. 我对得起自己良心. I don't purposely create harm or hurt another. Unintentionally it happens sometimes. The things I do I know enough to not create trouble. Even though often there's misunderstandings on the other side, but if at's what they think. Well, so be it.

If you beg to differ, you can always tell me straight at my face, if I accept what you say as the truth, I'll still be friends with you. If what you said is merely one-sided thinking of yours. Then it's fair to say I don't need a friend like you. Yea, I'm like that. If you don't like me, I won't try hard to make you. No one told me I have to like everybody, even though I try to.

Anyway, it reminds me of what my other friend said the other day, about a very close girl friend of mine. I couldn't exactly remember what she said, but a word stood out, it's "Cheap". I couldn't really defend my girl friend at that point. To some extent the facts that my friend laid out about her is true. And for that she thinks she's cheap. But I know better than to ever think of her like that. I never thought of her like that, even though my girl friend think so herself. I even had to convince her that she's really not. Because I know better. I didn't know what to say that will really be the truth and for what she truly is.

It's funny thou, another thing about human nature is that, when someone said something about you. It isn't as bad as when someone said something about someone you care. It makes you want to defend them all the more. You could say the very same thing to the person because you care for them. But hearing it from another person saying them like that. You just had to stand up and try doing something about it. Simply because it's someone you care.

Seriously. This is what happens when I refuse to get up of bed.
Gosh, if I would only listen 2 my alarm.
Even thou I did n woke up at 10am, juz cudn't brg myself 2 get up,
Then I fall bak 2 slp only 2 find myself jolted out from a strange dream.

First, there was this 僵尸。
Chinese zombie, well, the kind that you c in chinese movies,
That hops around wif their two hands stretch forward?
I used to love watching those kind of movies when I was a child.
My dad buys me a bunch of those kinds of dvds,
Yea, when I was just a little girl.
U shud ask him y he bought me those?
Haha, rly, it's more funny than scary most of the times,
That's y he alwiz buy giv me watch...lol...

Probably bcoz of laz nite movie,
The tv was showing Happy Ghost,
Yea, kinda remember watching that,
Well, I love Casper of all the ghosts anyway.

The dream is sth like this,
I was wif my girl fren,
We're at a dinner party sth,
Then suddenly,
We're running from sum ppl,
Tryin 2 find that zombie,
But then suddenly he appears,
And we got afraid so we keep playing chase wif him,
He go left we go right, and vise versa,
I keep tryin 2 find a place to hide,
It juz got so scary, I juz wanna run.
That's how it felt.

Then at another scene,
There's my lil bro n my girl fren,
They were holding hands,
Which is even more FREAKINGLY odd if that ever happens in real life.
I mean their both my frenz,
Well, it's juz nt possible...that's wot made me..err..

N I remember dreaming of another guy fren,
Duno wot izit, well, 4get it already,
I wanna talk about sth else.
Sth my fren said d other day.

She said, dun ever find a bf among ur frenz.
Even thou that contradicts wot I blv in.
爱的下面是个友，that's y I rather evrythg based from friendship.
But she had her pt,
2 of my frenz are a couple,
N evrywher we go ofcoz 2 of them r 2gether,
N it juz feels so weird,
Well, if they quarrel,
We wouldn't noe who 2 side wif?
Then if they break up,
It will get even worse won't it?
That's wot she meant la.
So yea, no further comment.

It's freaking me out, I don't wanna say no more. So long there. Take care.

Eek, forgot to buy sth 4 sum1 again.
Gosh, it's always like that, I remember I forgot sth, juz cudn't remember wot izit...><"
Cum bak baru ingat...aikz..
Dah la, next time keluar baru pi beli...

Ah, wher did I go? Went to MP DP lor..
Jie2 mau pi...
Wot did I bought?

List:
Eye Mo          : RM  6
Nail Polish      : RM  6
Tooth Brush   : RM  4
Ice Cream      : RM  5
Watch            : RM30
San Shu Gong: RM  9
Total amount spent: RM80...@.@

Wah, didn't realize that...well, at least I got my watch...hee, still nid 2 get another watch thou. Y?
Bcoz the one I bought too formal oleli...clash wif all my casual wear...lol...

1 more week to go: Left RM20 to spent...><...wanna go watch movie nia...2 movies...cukup je...><"...

Hmm, or wait June baru pi la...wednesday cheaper..haha...xD

Went to makan Sushi King lagi...coz Jie Jie wan eat...2day x order sushi...I eat sushi sampai sien ad...haha...xD...
So order nasi makan...piri2 chicken~
Heh, so full...
Hmm, feel like slping, it's a nice weather, okla...watch my show kejap then wan go nap le...hehe...

Fren ajak me keluar malam nanti pergi yamcha. For sum reason I dun rly feel like going...evrytime go out wif that group I dun even noe wot 2 say anymore. 2 much gossips involved...><"

Laz nite lagi cham, eventhou I dun mind goin out wif that group, my primary skul frenz...due 2 sum reason, my heart wasn't at the table, which rly sux, when they say sth n laugh I juz play along, even thou I wasn't rly feeling that way...oh gosh...y oh y...I am such a...sigh~

That's what gonna happen, sooner or later.
Whether you like it or not?
After reading my friends blogs,
I remembered something my mum's fren mentioned.
It's one of her classmates that she recently met up on,
After hmm, 30 years at least? More than that probably.

Her son ask her: "Mummy, where are all your friends from your school years?"
She simply answer: "Well, after finishing school, each of us simply went separate ways, those who stop studying and enter the work force, those who further their studies to other states and country. And then before we realize it, we all got married and settle down and lost contact with each other."
*Note: She didn't exactly say it like that, well, she meant it like that. I'm just being specific.

I know it's like that, I know it's gonna be like that.
What matters is we had our share of fun and friendship together,
That will bring us together when everything seems to fall apart,
That makes you realize there's still people for you to rely on when all else fails,
That's what friends are for, don't matter if it's old or new friends,
What matters is that their True Friends.
That will stand by you when you need them to,
That's what friends are made of,
Your pillar of support,
In return your shoulder for them to cry on.
礼尚往来。

Every relationship is the same.
I don't think I need to clarify this yet again.

I know now, 
That if there's a time to say Hello,
There's a time to say Goodbye.

Everything has it's Time.
It's just a matter...of Time.

PS: So long now, my friends. Till we meet again. Take care.

没有人会喜欢对自己不负责任的人吧？
突然想到那句，究竟是要对自己付什么责任呢？

我刚跟网友说：
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. 
All play and no work makes Jane a lazy girl.

好吃懒做真的会让人跟外面的世界脱离呢。
不懂要怎样才能打起精神来，
一天过一天的，
越来越靠近我害怕的日子。

本来还想写一篇诗的，
却写了两段就不懂得如何继续了。
还是说说我要写什么好了？

女人就像花瓶一样，
再美的花瓶，如果里面没有鲜花，
就没能展现出它的用途。
再美的花瓶，如果里面插着枯掉了的花，
那么放着也不让人多看一眼。
而普通的花瓶，单单插着一支玫瑰，
就能呈现出如此耀眼的一幕。

你，明白我在说什么吗？
严格来说，再美的女人，没有了内涵，
就等于A Beauty without Brain, or insights,
而再漂亮的女人，如果内心不存好意，
也等于一颗不会发光的星星，
而再普通又平凡的女人，
只要有战斗力，意志力，
就会一直往前冲，
设定了自己的目标，
认真的去完成每件事，
那种女人真的会让人看了留下深刻的影响，
那种女人让人欣赏，让人崇拜，
只可惜，我不是那种女人。

我不是别人眼里的小美眉，而是别人眼里的小妹妹，
我不是别人眼里的女强人，而是别人眼里的小女生，
我不是别人眼里的开心果，而是别人眼里的苦瓜脸，
我不是别人眼里的心上人，而是别人眼里的知心人。

我不是很多人会喜欢的人，
也不是一个善解人意的人，
我只是在大街上走着的人，
不会让人留下深刻的印象，
也不会有人想再多看一眼，
就是那么平凡又普通的人，
一个快到二十岁的成年人，
却是不起眼的在一旁观看，
真心朋友在身旁是有几个，
却没几个真正懂得我心思，
因为连我自己也搞不懂我。

真的是太空闲所以想多了吧？
十九年了，我从小到大，做什么事都敷衍了事，没认真的拼过，也没真正的战斗过。
我也很好奇自己是怎么过日子的。
小学时不用怎么努力成绩也算不错。
初中时只要努力一点点就会如我所愿。
高中时不但不努力而选择了放弃，搞不懂习题就离它远去。
中六时想重新再来，却又失去了意志，没能勇往直前，又一次向后往退。

我就是那个一次又一次放弃的人，
却是不懂得气馁的人，这么说是自相矛盾吧？
也许是我的优点也是我的缺点吧，
我很容易放弃，很容易丢下手上的工作就不做，
我却不会对人生气馁，因为我知道不管发生什么事，
我想继续活下去。
被狗追就会拼命地跑，拼命地逃，
跌倒了，还是会学会自己站起来，继续走。

刚也跟我朋友说：Life is short, but not that SHORT.
人生再怎么苦短也好，比起担心明天如何，是否还在不在，
不如活在当下，珍惜今天，只要还活着就有希望。
就像那句台词，希望在人间。

我朋友也说，人会在被逼的情况下长大，
我再怎么不喜欢，再怎么抗拒，
该发生的，会发生的总是会发生，
时间不会为我而倒流，更不会为我而停留，
Go Go Fighting!!

我再怎么简单的一个人，
I can still make a difference given the chance,
只要我还活着。　

PS: Even if I don't think of myself. Even if I'm alone. There are still people I love, and people who loves me as well.