I don't have the heart to do practically anything,
Perhaps I should write another poem with the same title,
But then again I don't have the heart to write one right now,
Yet it seems that this is starting to sound like one,
So it's best I just go straight to the point now.
My life just feels so messed up right now,
Going in circles, turning round and round,
I don't know how to bend it to become straight again.
I need a BREAK, and when I say that,
I realize I say that alot, every now and then I say I need a break,
Even when I have nothing to worry about,
No stress too much for me to bear,
No burden too heavy for me to carry.
Yet I still feel the fatigue all the time,
I feel wiped out and tired,
I just wanna sleep sleep sleep,
And maybe never need to wake up?
Lol, that won't do.
I still have lots of stuff in my mind I wanna do.
Yea, and since my schedule seems upside down right now,
I'll try to fix it when I'm totally FREE.
Of which counting down another 8 days to TAHAN.
Lol. I feel like quitting already, it pains me.
The boredom kills.
Yeala tu.
No one will sympathize me, I don't doubt that,
Coz I don't even feel empathy with myself.
I have the most relaxing job and here I am complaining,
Lol, we humans never do satisfy do we?
Anyway, working sux,
Juz like how our teachers used to say,
You'll thk studying is boring,
When you get out and work u'll noe.
Yea, we heard it then,
Yet we still ignored it.
And now we had to learn to deal with it. Heh.
Life's like this.
Either you Accept it. Or you THROW it away. Literally.
I just don't like my life to be the same schedule,
Doing the exact same thing every single day,
To top it of is the thg that I don't even love doing,
I can blog everyday because it's wot I love doing,
Lol. Other then dat, it just makes me feel LIFELESS.
Yea, that's the only word that is on my mind now.
Like a doll with no soul.
Hmm, feel like writing now.
Or maybe not.
Wotever it is, my life seems disorganized right now,
I need to get it back on track,
I lose track of the books I read,
The shows I watch,
The music I listen,
The animes I bought,
Meaning I have no idea where I stop.
It seems halfway through,
Now I gotto check back all of it. Lol.
What did you think I meant? Haha.
Anyway, need some time to change,
Some correction on my part,
If I would only stop getting piss at people for no reason,
And I always tell them,
It has NOTHING to do with them,
I really think so.
It's just me, my character has always been like that.
If only they would understand.
Even if they don't,
I don't really mind?
So where does it puts me?
A selfish chick? Heh well.
Everytime I'm pissed off at someone,
I'll get pissed off with myself,
For being pissed off at them,
I'm sure I've mentioned it before,
That's why I ask ppl to leave me alone,
When I'm in that state,
Bcoz not only will I not feel better,
I'll make them feel worse and myself as well.
When they say girls think too much,
I couldn't agree more,
Here's another thing,
GUYS thk 2 little of almost evrythg,
Not evry guy, but most guys.
N I hate guys to "dei" me,
It makes me kinda annoyed.
I rarely talks 2 ppl about my problems,
Issues I'm facing, and my true feelings,
Pretty much just tell my best friend 85% of it,
5% to my secret blog. Heh.
Another 10% to my girl frenz.
I guess pretty much that.
Bcoz they don't hev to know,
Don't hev to worry about me,
Even if they know, they cannot put themselves in my shoes,
Which makes me even more frustrated,
When they give me baseless advices.
Bcoz at the end of the day,
I'll know what I want,
And what I want to do.
So pretty much any kind of advice is baseless. Lol.
It's difficult to make me LISTEN.
End of story.
Right now. I just don't have the heart to be nice and all.
I'll be alright. Don't worry be happy!! =)
Disclaimer: Some of the things I mentioned above may be inaccurate due to the current state of my mind. Pretty much a moment of insanity I'm having now. So if you would please excuse me. I'll retreat back to my rehab and be NICE to you when I'm discharged. =)
A Wish for Today: That I can actually ACT the way I THINK. And that those around me can actually ACT & THINK.
A Wish for Today: That I can actually ACT the way I THINK. And that those around me can actually ACT & THINK.
PS: I Love You. J
hmm..好一个发自内心的blog..anyway..jane will be better n better in future..xian thk so..
+Haha, n I hope so.