II:Reality:Check

I realized alot lately. Like, say for a start, I realize I say "I realize" a lot, like all the time?
The day I arrived in Puchong, we sat the bus lor. My aunt shows me what a kind act truly means.
It was drizzling that day, 3 of us kids just carried our things quickly and head for shelter, after my aunt put down her bags, she got over into the rain and help an old lady carries her bag.
It made me realized that I'm always unaware of what's happening around me, even of what is around me.
Oh yea, btw, I just type "I realize" at my blog search, and 13 posts with the word came out.
Haha, very well, my lucky number. ^^

You know, I'm like kinda phase out all the time.
Self absorbed that I don't realize or see the things around me.
There are times when I'm having my meal. I actually forgot to eat something. How can I forget you may ask?
Well technically, I don't, I just don't "realize" that dish, can say that I don't "see" it there. Even when it is.
There is one time, when my mum ask me why I didn't hang up the food cover, she always make a point to make me hang up that thing.
Then I say "Huh? What? Oh, that, I x nampak."...It's only at my left hand side.
N I really didn't realize it's there. It always happen you know?
I'm searching for things, and I can find at a place that is so obvious that I do not see it until someone pointed it out to me?
That's y the pig always say me "mong dong" de...

Well, not only that. While staying here, today is my fourth day, it's thursday. Since I have nothing on my hands to do. I'm typing this while it's fresh on my mind.

I realize, how fortunate I am. And how much I love my mum. For all she has done for us. I cannot imagine life without her. Oh gosh, I'm crying. I feel so useless, and so dissapointed in myself. Having thrown at my face what I should do but not doing enough.

I told my friend the other day, I may be 19 going on 20. I may know a lot of things others done. But I certainly am not doing things I know I should do. I know I shouldn't compare myself with others. But it's what happening around me every single day.

Growing up, looking at my sis. I thought it's easy to do the things she do. The reality is, I'm not like her, and I'm never gonna be like her.

At my age, she's driving my mum around, instead of me still having my mum to drive me around.
At my age, she can handle anything her own, going to the doctor, the dentist, even shopping, etc. And I still need my mum to bring me go.
At my age, well, you get the point. I'm gonna bored you if I'm gonna write non-stop.

My cousin, is a rat, she's 14 this year. 1 year younger than my sis, the pig. We'll talk more about the Rat and Pig later.

She had a lot of chores in her hands, since she's the only one at home most of the times. Both my uncle and aunt are working, her eldest sis working, her second sis, my cousin twin* is studying, although both her sis are staying at home. The thing is, she's home alone most of the times. She can't cook, I really have no idea what she have for lunch most of the days. Simply cook maggi mee or something.

The chores she had to do by which I've observed[Not sure if it's because of holidays thou, well, even if it is, my mum not asking me do anything actually made me feel bad about myself. Since I'm older, I should be more concious am I not?]
1. Cook Rice
2. Sweep Floor
3. Dry clothes/Take clothes in
4. Wash the dishes/Clear the table
5. Throw out the rubbish
6. Etc.

My mum does all the chores. The only time she ask me to do something is when she's going out or well not at home.
And she doesn't like to call me do things, because. heh well. Let's see eh?
1. She ask me switch off the rice cooker, most of the times, I forget. Hehe. She always ask me off because she'll be walking around. But she alwiz cum bak bfor the rice goes hangus. =P
2. She ask me dry the clothes. Ok, but then she says I queeze not dry enough. Not that it's a big deal.
3. She ask me fold the clothes. Ok, but when I'm done, she'll re-fold it because I fold not nice enough.
4. She ask me sweep the floor. Ok, I sweep sweep the floor then she still say me, I thought I ask you to sweep the floor. I say "Huh? I just swept it." You get the point.

Technically, she always say the same thing, "Ask you do I have to do again." Well, my fault actually, for not doing good enough. She always say another thing too[This one to my dad, the pig and me]: "Everything have to wait for me." Because well, she does all the things at home. And so yea, everything kinda depends on my mum to do.

I don't know how to make tea btw, so I alwiz ask my dad to make. And he likes to tarik tarik the tea. Lol. What do I mean I don't know? You see, I'll end up putting lots of sugar or milk in the tea, and it's still tasteless, yea, that, and the amount of sugar I put in is like. A lot?

It reminds me all the more, I have so much time on my hands that I am so free and that makes me lazy.
Well, it is gonna end soon. My comfort life at home.
In no time, I'll have to head out and feed for my own.
Even the thought of it scares me like hell.
Everyone kept telling me I'll be alright, I'll adapt to it.
I'm not so sure about it. I don't easily blend in you see.
 It takes time for me to open up, and takes time for people to accept me.
Continue on next post.