I have a confession to make,
I'm tired of dressing up,
Tired of constantly having to make myself feel pretty,
So as not to feel intimidated by all the pretty people,
Tired of having to seek for attention all the time,
Hoping that people will notice me,
Why do we have to do that?
Why do we have to be like that?
I'm tired of always trying to be pretty,
Every girl loves to dress up,
Loves to be told they are pretty,
But who can really tell who's really pretty,
You see all the pretty faces,
On the billboard, on the posters, on the magazine,
Are those people who we call pretty?
And are we not pretty enough ourselves?
Why do we stress so much on the outer beauty,
When so little people have what they call the inner beauty.

For now,
I realize I lack of that inner beauty,
One might be able to look pretty on the outside with the help of some make ups,
But how can one really be beautiful from the inside?
And only those who cares about you can truly sees how beautiful are you within.

Hmm, note to self, I don't wanna be some pretty face without a beautiful soul,
I wanna be pretty with a beautiful soul,
I guess to do that, I ought to learn to be independent 1st.

P/S: Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder after all, [E.g. To me, a girl smoking is just so ugly, I have no idea why, but I just feel so.]

Regards, Enaj.

I've always been stupid when I do something,
Or after I've done that only I realize I'm such an idiot,
And then I'll be so unhappy with myself,
Like now,
I don't like that,
Even thought I were being stupid,
I wanted to get it over it,
But it's like a thorn in my head,
I hate that,
Can't find the heart to do anything,
I'm uninspired,
Hmm...

What do I do to cure myself?
To find back my "heart"?

Sad case.

Time is too fast,
We can't even stop,
One day and one day and one day,
It goes non-stop,
Feels so much faster than it was before,
That's what my mum said,
Time used to be must slower,
When everyone was doing things at their own pace,
But now?
We have to keep up with everyone else,
It's just so tiring,
I don't know how to record the moment of happiness,
Other than taking pictures of it,
That we can re-live it in our memory,
I guess that is why pictures are important,
For us to have something to hold on to.

Hmm, ought to work on something.

Went to watch "In Time" just now.
Needed a break from all those writings,
I don't feel like writing anymore,
So uninspired.
Crap.

Anyway, about the movie,
I'll say the storyline is refreshing,
But the show is really blue frame,
Reminds me of Twilight the movie,
The people in it is like drained of blood,
There's only white, grey, black most of the times.
Maybe it's their idea of a dull world,
But it seems pretty dull to do so.

Anyway, went to watch the movie because Justin is in it. Haha.
Typical of girls, eh?
But was not disappointed anyway.
Not a fond critic movie of myself,
If there's a movie I'll say sucks,
I think it must really suck for me to say suck. Lol.

Go watch it and find out yourself, it's not for me to tell you what it's about.xD


Regards, Enaj.

My head still hurts,
Gosh,
I wonder if it's the Sun,
or the Mood,
or the Stress,
I feel like taking a break,
I can't handle so many stuff at once,
If I'm at a job,
If I'm the boss,
I'll fire myself already,
I know that,
I'm never good at handling stress,
It makes me even more stress,
I need rest,
There's not enough time,
Why do everything need to come at once,
God damn it,
I feel like cursing,
You know I don't curse,
These days I just can't take it,
I'm emotionally+mentally+physically unwell,
I feel like shit,
I'm seriously contradictory,
I hate being left alone,
But now I just want to be alone. F***

Regards, Enaj.

Since I have nothing better to do,
Spent my time watching two movies in a row,
On my computer of course,
One is Nanny McPhee, heart warming tale, no?
I like her character, it's simply delightful.

And another is confessions of a shopaholic,
It's inspiring,
Everybody has a little bit of a shopaholic in our selves,
We just need to take control of it,
I've been buying stuff ever since I start working,
Keep going on a shopping spree,
And now I learn to count the worth,
Is the amount I'm paying for really worth the item?
Most of the times,
It's not,
Well, learning to say no, for things that I won't wear,
Enough is enough,
When I don't have enough money,
I always tell myself,
Never spend the money that I don't have,
I'm not brought up to aim for designer bags or whatsoever,
It cost thousands,
A month's pay,
No?
I mean, okay, I love buying,
But when you buy stuff that costs hundreds,
It'll cost me thousands,
And seriously,
I can't afford it,
I'm just a student,
And I know that.

Self-controlling ain't that hard,
If you know when to stop.

Went to watch "Abduction" yesterday.
Not bad for a not so expected movie,
I mean, besides Taylor Lautner, you don't really know the rest of the casts.
And we only know him because he's the werewolf in Twilight,
Anyway, it's a little cliche, but a while different kind of movie,
Interesting in a way that makes you enroll together in the ride to escape,
Get away from all the bad guys,
Find out your true identity,
And well, it's a thrill of a ride.
Honestly, there are times when I feel like he does,
That I'm a "stranger in my own life",
I don't know why,
But sometimes I feel like I'm standing outside looking at what I'm doing,
Isn't it strange?
Or do we feel that way sometimes?
I feel like I'm out of my physic, and my soul is separated from me,
I really can't quite explain how that feels,
Just feels like the soul out of the body,
If you get what I mean.
Eh well, so long for now.


Regards, Jane.

You know how it feels like when what you're feeling inside simply turns into a word in your mind,
And I was like having these thoughts that I'm really "unhappy" today,
I don't know why, perhaps because of the nature of me,
Ever the emo girl,
Yet it also strikes me as I can talk to a stranger if I want to,
I can talk to people if I want to,
But sometimes I just want to shut the whole world out of my life,
I don't really know how to explain how that feels,
I just feel, alone somehow.

Regards, Enaj.

12 more days until my birthday,
And I've already received four birthday presents~
^^

Wonder what he'll be giving me...hee...
Happy, happy, lalala...

That's all for now. C ya later.^^

我又累了，精神和肉体都累，
累得，不想跟人家解释所做的一切，
累得，不想自动去找别人，
别人想我时自然会找我，
累得，不想再当那个主动的，
累得，想休息个够。

珊，上。