:Charisma:

Something I think not many have it in them. A few of which comes naturally, you don't need training and sorts. It just feels like their instinct, intuition, someone they had it in them. Something I pretty much lack of. 

Charisma (Greek "kharisma," meaning "gift," "of/from/favored by God/the divine") is a trait found in persons whose personalities are characterized by a personal charm and magnetism (attractiveness), along with innate and powerfully sophisticated abilities of interpersonalcommunication and persuasion. One who is charismatic is said to be capable of using their personal being, rather than just speech or logicalone, to interface with other human beings in a personal and direct manner, and effectively communicate an argument or concept to them.

Another reason why being a teacher isn't for me. I've acknowledged that if there's one thing that is standing in my way of achieving more is the fact that I'm a coward. That I couldn't find the courage to do those things. I'm afraid. And I don't know how to overcome the fear. Like phobia, fear is simply the mind playing tricks on us. It's really more psychological than anything else. If you learn to face it. You'll find there's really nothing to be afraid of. Yet I don't even have the courage to face it, further more deal with it. I wonder if it'll ever change. I hate to face reality, but that's just life isn't it so?

I notice some of my friends that didn't do quite well in their studies, yet they have some kind of charm in them, when it comes to interacting, be it the kids, or the adults. Kids are pretty much easier subjects to deal with in compared to adults, by using the right method, right attitude. Yet I don't have that kind of ability, to make a child smile because of me, sometimes I can, but that's only sometimes, after awhile, they get bored with me, maybe because I get bored of them. I don't know. Probably.

I've always been the kid that gets bored after awhile. Most of the stuff I learn, I learn halfway then stop, that's it. Taekwondo, piano, guitar, swimming, well, technically, I never had the tendency to continue learning something. I always quit after awhile. One will say because of the lack of interest, but is it really? That it's just not what fits me? That I haven't find the very thing that keeps me interested? Or am I just one who couldn't end the things she started?

To cause a fire, and do nothing to extinguish it. Seems I do that a lot. There are times when me being rational doesn't help when people are being irrational. My rationality sometimes cause more hurt than heal for them. What do we live for? Exactly? Everyone of anyone must have ask this countless times. Some find the answers in their lover's eyes. Some find more questions as they go through life. Live, and eventually die, and for what purpose exactly? And if there's such a thing as heaven, I wonder what we do there? To live eternally, and never dies? And lead a peaceful and happy life? If that's so, a never ending world, will one be happy forever? 

There are so many questions in this world. That human couldn't discover. And I doubt they will even as they perished in the fire. And for that I trust there really exist a higher being than us. Yet rebellious like the teenagers, many choose to disobey. And then we wait, the day the earth comes to an end.

And while that have yet to happened, we ought to continue living the lives like everyone else. Like how we're suppose to. Because it's always been that way. And always will be. Live, Love, Die. If Life is a gift. Than Love is something even more Priceless than that.

I know I know, strayed away from the topic again didn't I? Well, it happens a lot. Now then, if you would excuse me. I will continue to do the things I do being confined in the bricks of walls. =)