Live it Right

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Painted Life

Life is like a flower, painted to perfection, yet at the end it wilts, fragile as it is, only the stem left unbroken.

Fallen Leaves

Like the autumn leaves, we fall at times, only to find ourselves blown away by the wind, and thus we reach yet another place.

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+Temptation...

I’m finding myself really hard to stay in control when there’s a guy sitting next to me, and it doesn’t really happens with every guy, but a couple of them at least, like I’ll lose my cool and just rather remain silent, anything I’ll leave it for them 2 decide n that’s it…n most of the times I gets emo at d end of d day, I duno y, but dat’s how I react at times…

And izit me? Or izit that specific guy dat I find myself easily taken by their words? I feel safe being wif them, but I know I cannot, and should not cross the line, even if I’m allowed to do so, because that’s not really me izit? It’s juz a momentary feeling, a craving of attention, a desire of being pampered…


It happens a lot rite? Like I’m nt d oni one who feels d way I do, ther ought 2 be sum1 else dat feels d same 2, n sumtimes dat sum1 else crosses d line, but do I wan dat? I mayb in a subconscious state, but I hev a sense of clarity of wot I wan...


I know I love being single, but sumtimes, I guess when d feeling overwhelms u, u will crave 4 more, 4 that sum1 2 be wif u, n I guess dat’s how it feels at times, how it makes me feel when I’m out wif a guy, sumtimes it gets me thking, the possibility dat we'll be more than frenz, but dat's nt wot I wan, it's juz wot my heart desires, a sense of security, n that 2, is of that moment n nvr laz any more than that...coz it's nt d 1st time, lol...


So yea, I find myself 2 be quite easily tempted depending on who dat person is, n 4 dis fren of mine, I find myself constantly ez 2 get close 2 him, n if he were 2 rly tempt me, I thk I might as well fall 4 it…but he didn’t, coz he noes we’re rly frenz, frenz dat trust each other enuf 2 noe our limit…n frenz dat will stay frenz no matter wot…


I oso duno if I care 4 him, but we’ve been on & off frenz, weird har? He’s d oni one dat alwiz seems like he nvr left my life, even when we stop contact 4 let’s say 6 months, 1 year? Lol, knew him since form 4, mayb it’s bcoz he’s very hard 2 care 4 la, I oso duno how 2 explain, like he dun rly trust girls either, but sth tells me he trusts me, n very funny one ler, he alwiz find me once in a blue moon I oso dun mind, I oso do d same thg 2 him, lol…


Tried 2 b ther 4 him, tried 2 make him stop, but, I dun rly hev d rights 2 do dat, who am I rite? I’m juz a fren, ther r sumthgs u juz cudn’t help wif, I realize dat a long time ago din I? Tempted? I hev 2 admit, he makes me feel dat way rather easily. A playboy? Hard 2 say, how do u even distinguish one dat is a playboy or a playgirl? U dun, it’s nt d amounts of ex-es dey had dat differentiate who’s d player, it’s d circumstances of it…


Given for example a millionaire who finds out dat d girls dat r wif him is alwiz after his money, then, who is d player here? Or perhaps juz gold diggers, but then again, sum may thk dat millionaire is a player instead, isn’t it? Ther’re alwiz 2 sides of d coin, u dun toss d same sides evrytime…n I hev a fren, dat changes her bf like it’s no big deal, but d fact it, she’s not a player, she simply hev yet 2 meet d rite one, so, how can u tell? U simply dun…


N he still looks like a lil kid, haha, looks 3 years younger than me, eventhou he's 3 years older than me, lol...His life has very much 2 do wif prejudice, truth is he is a nice guy deep down, n those r the very frenz dat I kip, instead of d ones dat oni noes how 2 use their frenz, sum1 dat is smart or cool doesn't make him worthy of a fren, u can take my words 4 it, bcoz at d end of d day, u'll cum 2 realize ur nth but a tool 4 them 2 use, a toy 4 them 2 play wif, those r d frenz dat seems "nice", but they're merely playing d role of "nice" ppl, without substance in it, the very ones dat I find myself sick of them...


But still, ppl kip judging d book by its cover, even my own old folks at home, it's hard 2 convince them of my frenz, esp d ones dat dyes their hair, so 2 save d problem, I won't let either meet, lol...dat's wot happens la, n most of my frenz noes about that, even thou I feel guilty but I rly duno how la, they alwiz question me dis n dat lo, I oso duno how 2 answer...they're my frenz, not my lovers, n I talked about this topic bfor, so ther's no nid 4 me 2 go on, I'm tired n I'm off 2 bed, dat's all...


"Do not succumb to the temptations arose from desires, for desires are what makes a man loses his sense of sanity..::..When we stop desiring so much for something, we learn to see what we already had instead..."


XoXo, J@N3...=]

6 Responses so far.

  1. i had this happened to me b4 too..there always be temptation everywhere..it happened a lot..it's just a feeling inside all of us..ya..sometime it's hard 2 control..sometime i find some of my female friends irresistable too..haha..but it's juz a feelling..so i won't let anything happened..

  2. 找到真爱了咯~哈哈...别永远绑着自己吧^^
    加油:]

  3. hey u gt to tell me who's d guy ,is he handsome ?

    yeah it happen to me too,tat i can't control lol...when i was in st6 , bt nw we r frienz...:)

  4. >>Nic
    +Yea, it'll pass away without u even realizing it...

    >>Solo
    +Haha, no lo...but I'll keep d latter in mind...=)

  5. Anonymous says:

    jane还是老样子吧!可能最近特别需要一些关怀,所以特别容易被诱惑咯..没什么的,我觉得jane有很多很多的很好的“男朋友”,但我想jane能分清楚吧!!jane开课了,虽然我知道那又是很大的考验,但我相信jane能够走下去,希望如此..贤要回去了,贤也没什么能帮上jane的,加油吧..

  6. >>Nee
    +Juz a long time pal lor, I won't say he's handsome, cute, perhaps, but like a lil boy cute, he's rly baby face lor...

    >>Xian
    +It's ok, I know, I'll be fine, dw...=)