Losing:My:Composure

In case you haven't notice, I've been writing in English ever since the start of the year.. well, technically, I use my sis com, n she uses mine, due 2 benefit purposes, I nid 2 use her com 2 watch drama, my com de colour too dark, lol...n well, she need mine for the chinese, which is what her com do not have! I can't even read chinese here, it'll all turn out 2 be little square boxes for each character, sigh, neway, anyone that's suppose 2 c this, I hope they do. Coz I hate to repeat myself, n even more, being DIRECT 2 them. 


Okay, went to work as usual today, after work went to my aunt's hse 2 help her with the cookies, my aunt says me byk kuasa, can kerja OT lagi, haha...well, since she asked go over n help lor, she's short of workers, even thou I can oni help xtra 2 hours, but one day 2 hours better than nth la. Neway, my grandma was ther, while they were talking, my grandma mention about my sis bf, she just said "Chao"...which means bro-in-law, haha, then my aunt juz say her...:"Belum apa lagi dah chao chao apa?"...haha...She answer my aunt: "Xpa, dah nak dah, x lama lagi"...dun rly remember, juz writing out wot she means...then my grandma say: "Dak Jane pun ada "Kawan" kan?"...meaning bf ler..lol...n then I juz answer: "Xdela, sibuk je..."...haha...Grandma: "Mane xda, mak slalu nampak"...referring 2 my guy frenz...Me: "I say, ala, kawan je..."...Grandma: "Yala, start2 mmg la kawan..."...well, neway, u get it dun u? Haha, she alwiz ask me de same q, I alwiz answer it differently, bfor this I answer bfor, "Xmau la, laki x leh pakai..."...[no offence guys, JK...=P]...haha...eh well, u noe wot she answer: "Yala heh, skrg byk org jahat, kena hati2..."...=P


K then, honestly, this is for you. Juz realize how much I miss u, evryday counting the days, it's not even two weeks. 13th January, lol...stupid guy. Yea, padan kena gua marah, budak bodoh...blek...juz realize I rly can't find anyone 2 tell evrythg but u, since u already noe a lot, coz I rly dun wanna tell wot's bugging my mind all over again. N recently, I juz dun wanna care anymore. I don't rly wanna giv a damn, guys will alwiz be guys, n I had enuf[of them]. Gonna stop being a NICE & GOOD girl, coz I'm nt rly all that Nice & Good. I juz appears to be, dun be dceived will ya? Juz realize wot I'm capable of, that it kinda scares me. N I hate myself for being that way. It's frustrating, n my mood isn't getting any better. The ones that I hope will accompany me doesn't do so. Instead the ones that I would rather not layan keep finding me for company!!! Argh, stupid stupid stupid...can I have a break already??? Sigh...


Neway, enuf wif that, here's another thg, like it's not enuf I'm working 12 hours a day now, will rly appreciate it if ppl DO NOT FIND ME when I'm bz, I HATE IT alot...that is unless I find u...otherwise, I guess u can juz try ur luck, by nt making me piss at u at that MOMENT, alrite? Duh, I'm rly tired, rly no mood 2 do wot others wan me 2 do, I juz wanna do wot I wanna do. I don't even have enuf time anymore. So I'll appreciate a time of my own. Juz a couple of hours r suffice. Sigh. Ought 2 brg the "Still Thoughts" to work n read it. Mayb then I'll calm down a lil...ever since I start work I juz kept losing my patience. So no offence if I get piss at u 4 no reason. Juz nt being composed, will adapt 2 it asap.


K then, time for a break, time for my drama. Lol..

PS: I Love You.