Notice: Be back on 8th August, I know I keep changing my time, eh well, school is closed until next tuesday, due to suspected numbers of H1N1 case, and I'll be spending the time to study, so I might as well, finish this now. However much I want to update my other blogs, sadly, it's time consuming. So take care, till then, I wish you enough. =)
"You don’t have to understand people to love them.”-Yasmin Ahmad
True to her words, people love her, even when most of us don't even know her, the way she thinks, how one can possibly see things the way she did? And I doubt in a million years there will be another soul like her.
It's been four days now, but tears I still shed even when I tell myself not to. Every time I come across an article of her, it's like an automatic switch that goes off by itself, that's how much it hurts, the fact that she's gone. But still, "The pain will go away, but the beautiful moment stays on forever, and so will she." Just like the girl in Sonnet 18. Embeded in Shakespeare's poem. She is embeded in her films.
While I was spring cleaning my stuff, I found a copy of "Sepet", but unfortunately, only had the 2nd disc, no idea where the 1st went 2, n cum 2 thk of it, y do we alwiz realize sth when it's gone, we thought it'll be there forever, as long as we live. But it's not, n I nvr did get to watch "Gubra", eventhough I wanted to, even when I saw the dvd sold in stores, but I never did purchase it, hopefully I will be able to, "Muallaf"[Will speak on this later] as well. Then again, if only those idiots will just stop banning her shows!! I watched Mukhsin & Talentime in the cinemas, the former with my grandma, the latter with my sis. I doubt I'll be able to pursuade my friends to watch them, Mukhsin sounded too Malay, but her show never was about Malays. It's about Malaysians, living in harmony with each other. If there is ONE person who can make 1Malaysia possible, that would be her.
As I watch the other half of "Sepet", my tears just kept falling down, I forgot what the movie meant to me, I was only 14 then, but now I do. It was what you'll never get to see in any other movies, movies of P.Ramlee standard, that you won't mind watching over and over again, and still laugh at the same old joke. I grew up watching his movies btw, many didn't. As you can tell, I never was a typical chinese girl, eventhough my grandma always calls me "Cina Erk", that's as far good a pronunciation I can make of, never knew how to spell that word.
People seem surprise to know that I used to watch Hindustani movies, and that too as much as P.Ramlee's, the tv still repeats his movies, but I don't watch it anymore, perhaps I just grew out of it, or perhaps, I've already seen it all, at least a large number of it. But all of it will always remain in a part of my memory. "It doesn't matter if you've changed course, sail the other way; What matters is that you never forget where you came from, what brings you here, what makes you the person you are today."
Where else can you find a film compiling of malay, chinese, siam and even latin songs? And best of it with a Bengali poem as an inspiration? Since my blog post is too long, read it here.
"Your Questioning Eyes" by Rabindranath Tagore.
And one of the Quotes from the movie that caught me is this,
"People in the olden times can marry each other regardless of race but people in today's more civilized society tend to fight over and think too much of such matters."-Keong
I couldn't agree more, does it really matter? I thought love comes only with the heart? But for one to say so, I still cannot think the way she did.
"I used to write poetry because to me, it was like writing letters to God; to tell someone I couldn’t see, how I felt inside. Then finally, God replied. With a poem more beautiful than anything I had ever written. He gave me you."-Jason
I'm an agnostic atheist, I don't believe in God, the creator of the world, but I cannot say He doesn't exist, I believe in deinties, the one chinese prays to, I believe in the Buddha, that only wants us to take lessons from his teaching. A guidance for our life. If there is God, there's more than one, and God damn they're having Wars of their own, how else would you explain the fightings among their fellow workshippers, killing in the name of God? But then again, however ironic it is for me to say, I truly believe, that she's a messenger from God.
The last video recording of her in an interview, and she looked just as optimistic as she always claimed herself to be.
"You can say you believe in this, but if you don't behave that way, nobody will believe you."
"We can't just talk the talk, but walk the walk."
"1Malaysia means that we embrace differences, that we go by the Quran advice, that God has created many different tribes, and the reason for this is just so you can get to know one another."
"The Buddha said will put on us to suffer and experience, and overcome."
"In a way, it's good to have problems. It is only by overcoming them, that we become better people."
"We are meant to have faults. How well you judge a person, is basically by how they overcome them. Nobody is born flawless."
Over the years, I find myself being more sarcastic and cynical, but I don't have a problem with that. Do you? If there's one thing I've learnt watching her films, is that: "There will always be people who hates you, who only wants to see you fall. But then, at the other end, stood the people who loves you, and will wait for you no matter how slow you are."
P.S.: I'm not done, more from Sepet here. I'll continue later, enough for today, there're just so many things we need to understand, and by writing it out, I'm beginning to get a grasp of it. "Little by little, it's better to have known than not known at all."
Love, Jane
i really love reading this post dear.
YOur knowledge are so WIDE!
no kidding, someone got h1n1 in ur school..damn..
wa..she really means a lot to you,i believe thru here, she will know how much she meant to u, how much she meant to us, how much she has contribute to malaysian..she will be dearly missed by all..
"every tears you drop will be her souvenir.."
oh ya, the post title "forget me not" has been used before, check ur april post..haha, jz letting u knw
>>Cai Hong
+Haha, thx, we all ought to live up to her legacy.=)
>>Nic
+Yea, I knew I did, I even check n see if there is, still missed it, lol, but still, I guess the title wud oni be right, the laz film she was suppose to produced, n the title is juz that...=)
+Was writing another poem laz nite when my father juz pluck out the line, all thx 2 my sis, lol, so continue 2day, go chek it at Poetry, haha...^^